Working Tired

Leadership Coaching Notes APRIL 2010

Working Tired

Julie wore fatigue like a badge of honor and used it as an acceptable excuse for missing deadlines, slip shod preparation, overlooking performance reviews and occasional emotional outbursts. Somehow she thought working tired was the ticket into the next level of leadership. Late nights, jet lag and marathon meetings showed her stamina and determination to succeed and proved how essential she was…didn’t they?

What percent of the time are you working tired? Do you think being rested and energetic means you aren’t doing enough? Interested in changing?

What Worked:

1. Look in the Mirror: I asked Julie to notice leaders around her who were chronically tired and describe what she observed. With discomfort, she saw that their “forced march” determination wasn’t attractive to others.    She saw herself and didn’t like it: crisis to crisis firefighting, unproductive meetings, missing or insincere concern for others, dissatisfying personal lives, “poor me” comments, and too many good intentions with no follow up.

What you can do: Notice Your Excuses: Record on your smart phone or make a note each time you want or intend to do something, but excuse yourself because you are too tired or too busy. At the end of the week, review your lists. What are you avoiding? Check: How many items are the very things that will create the future you most want… good health, a happy family and network of friends, a more productive, spirited team, a better community?    Look at your impact on yourself and others with naked truth. Feel the impact of your choices, honestly.

2. Drop Your Stories: Awareness was a first step to changing, but Julie immediately gave excuses about why she couldn’t possibly shift her old habits. She told me what others expected, how she couldn’t let them down, how she couldn’t miss opportunities to advance and even how she was too tired to change! I asked her to pause, breathe and tell me what she really wanted vs. felt compelled to do. It wasn’t easy to drop the stories, but when she did, she knew the truth deep down.

What you can do: Decide What Is Truly Most Important: What happens when you suspend your stories about what you “have to” do and ask yourself what you authentically value and “want” to do? Many of us, especially when we are really tired, believe this is a dangerous question. Initial answers sound “irresponsible.” Sleep, take a long break, tell others “no,” ask others for help. But, these and your deepest, authentic desires are important and rich. Hint: If unclear about your answers, review the items on your lists in #1.

3. No Extreme Makeovers: The shift from working tired to working with energy to spare didn’t happen with an “aha!” insight. Julie made challenging and courageous choices over months. She wrote down what was most important to her then strictly prioritized those activities and contributions each day. She risked that others wouldn’t always like her choices. She let herself ask others for help. The changes came one choice at a time, one interaction at a time, and one meeting at a time.

What you can do: How Can I Do This in a Way that Creates Energy vs. Drains It?: You may want to make big changes in your priorities and choices, learn new skills for easing your load or build a small inner circle of supporters who will support you more each day. Start on these big goals, but accept that they will take time and effort.

Jump start today: Face each task of your day and simply ask, “How can I handle this situation in a way that generates energy rather than drains it?” Perhaps you will choose to work in uninterrupted silence or put on good music and work with others. Perhaps you’ll ask for others’ ideas and help. Perhaps you will make something fun vs. routine. This question can help you make some great changes quickly. Try it out in traffic jams, long lines at the grocery or in your next boring meeting

Business Impact:

Pilots are legally required to rest. Julie had to choose it on her own, but her patience for teaching, clarity of thinking, ability to respond well to unexpected changes and the ways she inspired others improved notably. She released trying to be perfect and be all things to all people all the time. Instead, she chose to make fewer, targeted, higher quality, higher value contributions.

As she built a rich network of people, she became better informed and more creative. Her new levels of achievement and support from others made her more visible and valued as a leader. New choices opened new doors to new people and new opportunities to offer what she did so well. No one died; no one failed, everyone adjusted.

What’s Next:

If you or leaders you develop want to lead well, have energy to spare, and are
committed to achieve these goals, give me a call. It will take some investigation of your current choices, but I can help you make the shift. Our first call is always free and I will enjoy hearing from you.

Liked the article? Didn’t like it? Have any questions? Additional ideas? Drop me a line mkimbell@corporateadventure.com. I’d love to hear from you!

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,Strategy Consultant
Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”