Leadership Coaching Notes  December 2011

With many thanks for your friendship and readership, I re-send the following ezine from 2009 with my very best wishes for joyful holidays and a new year of adventure, vitality and leadership success.

Three themes caught my attention recently:  A leader I work with told me that he loved gravity, the force.  When I looked confused, he explained, “Gravity is a constant invitation to drop things rather than pick them up or carry them around for very long.”  Hmmm…. Then, I was listening to NPR about ways to create a “greener” holiday season by simplifying and letting go of “stuff.”  Finally, after shopping this weekend, I discovered “The 12 Days of Christmas” song recycling in my head.

In the spirit of all three themes, I offer you 12 ways leaders can create more joy (with the help of gravity and some practice.)

1. Drop your need to know.  Increase your genuine sense of “wonder” and invite new relaxation, creativity, enthusiasm and possibilities you will never discover without it.
2. Drop your over-exaggerated sense of importance.  If you think you are the only one who “gets it” or can do “it,” you’ve mis-stepped as a leader.  Stop overburdening yourself, overlooking others who want to help and stressing everyone far more than needed. Use the time you find to develop and leverage others more effectively.
3. Let go of any hope of being perfect. Put it down.  Your people won’t be perfect and neither will you.  Dropping this impossible standard will release you to relax, laugh more, delegate more and use others’ input as developmental opportunities vs. “tests” of adequacy.
4. Put down your seriousness.  Laugh at yourself and your mistakes as an awesome way to keep perspective, loosen up and invite others to see you as a person they can approach with ease.
5. Surrender your sense of being indispensible.  Go home.  Take breaks.  Use all your vacation days, unplugged.  Invest in your vitality to keep yourself at your best and set a great example for others.
6. Drop being the first and most dominant voice.  Listen more.  Shrink your airtime and you will connect with others, show that you care, and learn things you’ll never discover any other way.
7. Let go of pre-judging. Hold history like a swordsman holds a sword…not to tight and not too loose.  If you hold on to history too tightly, your prejudices will only guarantee more history.  If you relax and welcome a fresh start, for yourself and others, you will set the stage for creating an adventure worth living.
8. Release self criticism.  Ok, let go of criticism of others too, but start with yourself.  Substitute self reflection and learning for obsessively dumping on yourself.  Contrary to what you may have learned, you really will be brilliant without keeping your foot on the back on your neck.
9. Drop the chatter.  Whether the chatter is in your head, on TV, radio, or social media, turn it off.  Art comes from a blank paper, music from silence and your most authentic knowing and creative ideas from a place of relaxed “flow.”  Learn to relax deeply.  It takes practice, but start with deep breathing during meetings and your commute.
10. Disengage from so much “how”.  Getting consumed with “how will we ….,” puts you on the hamster wheel of urgency, overwhelm and stress.  Get off by focusing yourself and others first on “why” something is worth doing and “what” you can contribute.  Once you are clear on why and what, the how’s will flow far more easily.
11. Drop contracting.  Anytime you feel tight, let it go.  Move, exhale deeply, talk it out, and feel gravity pull down every cell.  Your health, creativity and effectiveness will thank you for it.
12. Release boredom.  Let go of the disengagement that causes boredom.  Wake up to reconnecting with what is most important to you and contributing what fulfills you so you show up enthusiastically, at your best.

So, when you drop all of these, what’s left?  What do you hold on to?  My wish for you is that you hold on to the moment and stay attentive to the freshness of each breath, situation, and person.  Hold on to hope.  Like a puppy, it is an active thing that endlessly snoops around for something intriguing and delightful.  Hold on to gratitude; it brings joy, fulfillment and rest from the struggle.  Hold on to that which lives in your heart as your best source for what is most important and meaningful.  Hold on to your amazing ability to make a positive difference.  Enjoy your brilliance this season.

Do you have other thoughts about what leaders could give to “gravity?”  Please comment below.

May your season be abundant with joy, freedom and flow.  May gravity and your spirit be well fed by your choices.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,Strategy Consultant
Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes December 2011

Recently, I had the sad honor of co-leading the memorial service for an unassuming 45 year old man who I knew for only 2 years, but who I had come to admire deeply. I hadn’t had much visibility to his work life, but was awed, enriched and humbled by it during the week after his death.

Here’s the Story:

Ed was a videographer, one of the unseen, unheralded cameramen and women who shoot TV shows, university programs, and professional sporting events. To the viewers, he was typically invisible. (He did make it on TV once for an instant replay when he was flattened by an NBA player.)

After Ed died, heartfelt comments about his professionalism, values, mentoring, inspiration and friendship poured in on Facebook from his behind-the-scenes colleagues. Touchingly, many changed their Facebook pictures to his. Their expressions of loss and appreciation carried a whole community through a tough time.

At his memorial service, crews he’d worked with more than 20 years earlier attended. They were totally present. Leaders pay me a lot to help strengthen their executive presence, but these men and women needed no coaching. They came with an open hearted, unpretentious, generosity of spirit and expressions of warm support that lit up the entire experience.

Since the memorial, this community has supported Ed’s wife with ongoing FB postings, invitations to take Ed’s place at their events and enthusiastic welcomes when she attends. They have been a powerful, essential support system she hadn’t realized she had.

I discovered that camera crews film each other in unsuspecting moments. They splice their clips together to share at holiday parties when it is time to laugh. The following clip is a sample of a memorial one of them created for Ed.  We shared it to finish his memorial service.

If you want to feel really good, it is worth 2 minutes to watch. You’ll meet Ed, enjoy the care put into creating it, and remember the magic that unsung heroes have to offer.

So What?

If senior leaders and white-collar professionals consistently saw, acknowledged, tapped and embodied the energy, spirit and kindness available from those who work at the periphery of their attention, the work place would be better for all. Perhaps the culture of Zappos is a most familiar example of a company who’s done this well.

What’s Next:

I’ve begun interacting with customer service people and others who work behind the scenes differently. What can I notice about them and their worlds? How can I show my appreciation? What might I offer them that supports their success?  I’m rewarded with more ease, connection and assistance than I’ve invited before.  Give it a try and please share your experiences!

If you are a leader who would like to explore how to stay highly motivated yourself and create more inspired work environments for everyone, contact me. The first call is always free.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,
Strategy Consultant Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following: “Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes: July 2011

I seldom use sports examples, but recent finishes are too dramatic and instructive to pass by.

At the Masters Golf Tournament, sensation Rory McIlroy completely dominated the first 3 days of play only to falter so badly in the final holes of the last round that he failed to make the top 10. Painful to watch and I’m sure excruciating to experience.

At the Indianapolis 500, after 499 miles and within sight of the checkered flag, the driver of the leading car, rookie J. R. Hildebrand, decided to lap a slower car that was no threat, got caught in the loose marbles along the edge of the track, and crashed into the wall. It cost him a sure win.

By contrast, the Dallas Mavericks in Game 2 of the NBA playoffs were 15 points behind the dominating Miami Heat with 6 minutes to play. They won. It wasn’t so much that the Heat lost as that the Mavericks went into overdrive to stage one of the greatest comebacks we’ve seen. They did it again in Game 4.

In business today, how we finish defines our standings and futures, too. How we finish shapes our reputations and our profits. It defines our clients’ loyalty and willingness to refer us to others. If you doubt it, just remember the contractor you couldn’t get back to your home to finish your remodeling project.

The Temptations:

The temptations to lose focus and discipline and get sloppy are many:

The creative start up phase is over. Endings are often a slog across the finish line. It’s harder to sustain top form.

You are tired after a demanding project and so, if it’s gone well, you might be seduced into coasting to the finish line.

These days, you doubtlessly juggle multiple projects vying for your attention and perhaps new ones waiting to start. If your project takes longer than you thought, you’re way overbooked and finishing gets complicated.

The reality is that your client, your sales pipeline and your development plan don’t care if you’re bored, tired or overbooked, but they still define your success and future.

What Works:

Don’t Finish ’til You Finish: Professionalism requires that you know your goal line exactly, sustain your attention, and give it your 100% best until you cross it. No excuses. No bending the standards to suit your own comfort and convenience. No passing it off to others so you can make it easier for yourself. Finish and your clients will win, as will your self-confidence, resilience, pride and credibility.

Pause and Breathe: At the finish, there’s no time for a vacation or even a weekend, but there are times for periodic pauses long enough to re-center, refocus and choose again. These moments are particularly critical if you are tired, losing your nerve or starting to tell yourself stories of either certain victory or hopeless defeat. These reset moments are familiar to every exhausted and worried parent with a sick child. Use them frequently and finish strong.

Mobilize and Support Others to Contribute: Leaders sometimes get heroic and grandiose about their ability to score at the end, alone. They ignore others as resources or in a mistaken effort to be “kind,” they let others move on to a new project and avoid the hard times. (How will they learn the discipline of finishing strong?)

If you’ve chosen to consistently invest in building your team, they will want to be part of the close. You and they will cheer each other on and play to each other’s strengths. You won’t let each other quit. If finishing strong requires going into overdrive like the Mavericks did, do it. You’ll know you’ve built a great team when they pull together for the final defining minutes. Regardless of the outcome, everyone will be stronger for it.

What’s Next?

Everyone remembers strong finishes…sports fans, staff, peers and clients. If you, your team or those you are developing as leaders are struggling to finish strong, call me. There are mindsets, practices and organization systems that can help to make you and your team proud of your finishes and win more often in the future. I enjoy exploring your situation and how I can help you learn to use them and teach to others to use them successfully. Your first call is always free.

If you have other ideas about finishing strong, share them with me at mkimbell@corporateadventure and I’ll pass them along.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,
Strategy Consultant Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes MARCH 2011

Like a chess game, leading change is a lot about continuous and skillful “positioning.” Chess masters consider how to respond to the variety of possible choices their opponents might make – more than a dozen moves ahead before they move. (I find it mind boggling!)

Fundamentally, masters of change (chess or leadership) take a broad, long-term and detailed view of future possibilities. They habitually consider the potential impact of their next choices before they thoughtfully move to strengthen the probability for success. They move to create a future vs. act from habit or familiarity. Some moves may appear “weak,” but from a bigger context, they position moving forward, e.g., like a soccer/football player who passes the ball backwards to a player with more options for scoring.

Leaders don’t play with chess pieces or soccer balls; they play with words and actions. They don’t play against anyone; they play against resistance to change. The story and questions below show how a senior leader used the chess strategy to build buy-in for changes needed to deliver stronger team results.

Adam’s Challenge:

Adam arrived excited about helping his diverse, geographically dispersed team deliver more value to key stakeholders. He thought it was obvious that stronger collaboration and new performance disciplines would support everyone’s success and enthusiasm.
He was shocked to learn how much headwind he faced.

• The prior leader’s laissez-faire style permitted diverse managers to do their own things in their own styles and to their own standards … as long as they didn’t embarrass him or the organization. They liked their autonomy and didn’t want to change.
• Adam worked for a boss who’d leave shortly and didn’t want complaints from Adam’s managers. He had no interest in rocking the boat on his remaining watch.
• The organization lacked common standards for setting goals or managing performance, so there was little cultural support for making changes that were critical.
• His managers met his ideas with resistance, both outright and passive.

He called for help. Keep reading to learn how he used positioning to shift their thinking, willingness to change and, over time, the impact of their efforts

A Short Case Study about Building Team Buy-In

Leverage the Vulnerability of Being the New Kid on the Block

Knowing that new kids are usual suspect and easily ostracized, we explored how to invite his managers to view Adam as their supporter while, at the same time, raise their interest in serving the needs of key stakeholders better. We chose his next leadership moves to convey both his appreciation of his managers (build relationship) as well as to build the case for changing, with Adam as their chosen vs. imposed leader.

6 Positioning Questions to Focus Managers on Reasons to Change

Adam brought his managers together “to help build greater mutual support.” This positioning played to their self-interest, but he also designed the meeting to create a deeper and compelling awareness of what their key stakeholders needed and what the team could deliver to better meet those needs.

In the meeting, Adam didn’t tell, he asked. Rather than “don’t you think?” questions, he asked truly open, curious questions that helped everyone appreciate the views and current contributions of each manager’s group. He designed questions to expand their world views, tap into their desire to be part of making a real difference and create new urgency for raising performance. He brought everyone together and asked each manager to share answers to 6 questions.

Click here for a copy of the questions he asked that helped to shift managers’ readiness and support for accepting his leadership, releasing comfortable habits and making a bigger difference.

Impact of Positioning Questions

Shared World View: The conversations began to build a shared team context instead of the narrow worldviews of isolated islands of (self-) interest and control. Adam helped them shift decision criteria from internal to external and positioned greater reason for collaboration and change.

New Confidence: By highlighting current successes, he built their pride and the confidence and positioned greater readiness for taking the risks of changing.

Common Compelling Vision: Once they co-created the need for changing, Adam invited them to envision the specific changes required and define synergies that would improve value for external stakeholders. Their vision became the magnet for change vs. him the ogre demanding it.

Leader as Resource: His questions defined his role as their chief supporter for achieving the changes they wanted. As they built a stronger awareness of and confidence in each other, they were gradually more open to experimenting with new approaches for improving value, with Adam facilitating their progress.

Momentum: With their shared, externally driven definition of “success standards” (not arbitrarily imposed by Adam), the shifts began to appear. Better feedback from stakeholders and improvement on the new metrics reinforced the team’s collaborative efforts and use of best practice.

The Competence-Confidence Loop

The more confident managers became, the more willing they were to invest in building new competence. And, likewise, the more competent they became, the more their confidence grew. It became a wonderful virtuous circle.
Adam started with little influence or support for his vision, but he built them from within the team. It took months of patient and flexible positioning and consistent implementation discipline, but everyone began to see the impact they were creating and enjoyed the feel of working on a team making exciting progress.
Adam achieved new and self-renewing success by shifting his own definition of “leading” away from telling and convincing to positioning change by asking, promoting curiosity and focusing forward. It stretched his growth and patience, and proved well worth it.

What’s Next?

If you or people you are developing need to bring your teams to the next levels of performance and contribution faster, I can often help you achieve your goals easier and with Energy to SpareTM. Please contact me for a free first conversation to explore your situation and how I might help. I look forward to talking with you!

What do you think? Will you share your ideas about how you recharge and ease the load everyone quickly encourages you to carry?

Please send any feedback to mkimbell@corporateadventure.com.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,
Strategy Consultant Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes August 2008

Building Success as a Cross-Cultural Leader

If you or a leader you coach is struggling to adapt to a new country, a new business unit or a new leader with an unfamiliar cultural style, A.J’s story may offer you new keys to success. A.J. was not yet a U.S. citizen. She had achieved strong success in her culture of origin and came to the U.S. to excel as a business leader. When I met her, she was struggling to achieve her dreams. Despite working very hard, she was faltering with her team, peer network and some key client relationships.

What Worked

Get Your Mojo Back: Accustomed to success and being the best in her culture of origin, A.J. hated to admit how unsure she felt about herself and her decisions. When we talked, she realized that, when she moved to an unfamiliar culture, less social support and so many new challenges, she lost some attitudes that made her great “at home.” By exploring how she formerly fueled her enthusiasm, enjoyed taking risks and loved learning, she started smiling. Recovering her positive attitudes and confidence was the first step of opening new doors and relationships.

What You Can Do: Identify attitudes and practices that built success in your former culture and that will help you build success in the new one. How did you build your confidence previously? How did you overcome big challenges? How did you stay resilient in the face of setbacks? Find existing attitudes and strategies for success and you can re-set the energy, optimism and confidence that will underpin new success. Transferring existing strategies is the fastest way to play successfully in your new environment.

Use Your Versatility: When she traveled, A.J. easily learned new money, languages, foods, and social practices, but she lost that same curiosity and versatility when she arrived in her new work situation. Under new stress, she relied too much on her past experience and assumed that her old, familiar way was the “right” way. Too often, she ended up very wrong. She learned that she had to choose between her outdated understanding of “right” and using her versatility to discover how to become “effective” instead.

As an example, A.J.’s home culture valued mutual support so highly that asking others for help would have been insulting to them. The critical skill of explicitly setting accountabilities across her team was new and felt very awkward. Once she identified the mismatch of her culturally familiar “right” approach and what was “effective” in U.S. business, she used her versatility and quickly adjusted her practices to build productive teamwork.

What You Can Do: When struggling, zoom out. Step away and check how you would have handled a tough challenge in your former culture. Appreciate that the approach worked, there. If you used a practice you’d like to introduce in your new culture, teach it explicitly. Otherwise, examine your situation and find practices that work in your new culture. Identify people and approaches that create the impact you want. Practice and master these approaches. Most of all, set up a trusted support team to give you guidance, feedback and encouragement during your learning curve.

Label or Learn?: When things didn’t work, A.J. often blamed herself. Occasionally, her impatience overflowed and she criticized others. She simply couldn’t imagine why others didn’t think as she did and show the levels of drive, determination and responsibility that were so engrained in her personal operating habits. Whether directed inwards or outwards, A.J. saw that labeling, blaming and anger narrowed her creativity and locked in ineffective habits.
A.J. learned to consistently choose between labeling (i.e. calling herself or others wrong, inadequate, clueless, insensitive, etc.) and learning (i.e., refocusing on her goals, getting creative and building more effective approaches to leading in her new role.)

What You Can Do: Give up any belief that others are responsible for how you feel and react. You are in charge of your mind, emotions and responses. Learn to suspend and delay anger with yourself or others for just 3 minutes. Use this neutral “space” to create other options that serve your long-term purpose. Drop any labels and shift to creating possibilities. Ask others for help finding more constructive ways to move forward. Find at least three options for handling the situation and implement the best one.

Business Impact

I have successfully coached leaders from India, China, Japan, Korea, Malaysia, South America, Africa, Russia, the former Soviet Union and Europe. Because of their unique experiences and insights, they became outstanding contributors and leaders. They have mentored others struggling to succeed in our global and fast-changing business world. They also have coached U.S. business leaders on how to bring out the best from others in cross-cultural situations.

What’s Next

If you are leading high-potential leaders in an unfamiliar culture and they are struggling to fulfill their potential, goals and dreams (or you are one of these people) and you’d like to accelerate success, a coaching program can make a big difference. Please call me for a free conversation to explore ideas that can support new effectiveness. I always welcome your referrals.

Liked the article? Didn’t like it? Have any questions? Drop me a line mkimbell@corporateadventure.com. I’d love to hear from you!

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,Strategy Consultant
Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes June 2008

Play It Again, Sam: 3 Things Your People Want to Hear, Again and Again

Sam was a good example of the guy who, when his wife complained that he never told her he loved her, responded with surprise, “I told you I loved you when we were married. I’ll tell you if I ever change my mind.”

Sadly, Sam took the same “no new is good news” approach as a leader, too. But, instead of hearing straight-forward complaints, he observed casual work and lackluster creativity. Using a few lessons from family life, Sam discovered 3 messages helped to re- engaged his people. They liked to hear them, again and again.

What Worked?

Why AM I Doing This?! Sam easily remembered times he felt irritated or discouraged when raising his kids. When I asked why sleepless nights or driving carloads of loud kids was worth doing, he knew why, but admitted he could forget easily in the tough moments. Sam realized his colleagues and staff could use his help remembering “why” in their tough moments, too. Why WERE they dealing with difficult clients, paperwork, imperfect systems and endless meetings? Sam started reminding them about the future they were creating together, in multiple ways and times, again and again. When they focused on meaningful reasons to go the extra miles, he noticed their humor, determination and quality improve.

What You Can Do: How often do you remind people about the difference they can make? Once is not enough! Re-focus and energize people around you by describing the compelling future they can create. Name specific examples of how they contribute to making life better for themselves, customers and the organization. It is reported that Jack Welch spent a third of this time sharing his vision for GE. How much do you invest?

Are We THERE Yet?: Sam laughed to remember all the times his children asked, “Are we THERE yet?” When he realized that his staff couldn’t always see progress towards their goals either, Sam began telling them more often. He added a simple scorecard of progress against goals as the “wallpaper” people saw on their computer screens each morning. He added, and asked all managers to include, a “where we are against goals” as an agenda item for every staff meeting.

What You Can Do: When you meet with individuals, teams and stakeholders, stop assuming they see what seems obvious to you. Inspire and align effort by answering 4 questions (in addition to “why?” above): 1) What was our starting position? 2) What targets will we achieve in the next (X) months? 3) What progress have we made so far? 4) What is most important to deliver this next month?

What DIFFERENCE Did It Make?: Sam conceded that, as a kid, he wasn’t excited about doing chores. He realized his parents built his persistence and commitment by saying “thanks” plus defining how his efforts achieved something he valued (e.g., creating time for family fun.) Using his parents’ wisdom, he started boosting others’ efforts at work by saying “thanks” and describing the positive impacts their efforts had. He noticed smiles when they heard about the differences they made.

What You Can Do: Rather than review others’ quality or timeliness, start telling stories about how
your people made a difference. Bring back to life the challenges faced, people involved, efforts
given and outcomes achieved and you will bring people back to life, too. Evaluation is information.
Stories are inspiration and guidance that people like to hear, again and again.

Business Impact

Sam was surprised that simple lessons from family life could transform his team. With little time or effort, but an important a change in focus, his people saw the value of their work and tuned up their efforts and impact. His success stories became touchstones for a new culture of celebrating “wins”. Over time, more people adopted his new style. He was surprised that something so simple made such a big difference. His people were surprised and pleased to find that he cared about them as well as the bottom line.

What’s Next

Use and share these ideas. If you know your team would beneift from new messages from you and would like to explore how to engage them more effectively, contact me. Like Sam, a coaching program can support you in shifting your leadership impact and personal satisfaction. If leaders you coach want to build more productive teams, suggest they call me. I am never too busy for your referrals. Our first conversation is always without charge.

Liked the article? Didn’t like it? Have any questions? Drop me a line mkimbell@corporateadventure.com. I’d love to hear from you!

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,Strategy Consultant
Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes May 2008

Give It to the Goat

Karen was a senior leader who couldn’t shake off mistakes, hers or others. She replayed them, lost sleep and, at times, worried about them even before they happened. She needed a goat. Never heard of it? Perhaps not, but stop and consider: Goats love piles of garbage. They thrive on old, rotten things that people discard. Keep reading to discover how a goat can be an invaluable leadership resource for you.

What Worked

Face the Facts then Give It to the Goat: Karen started rebuilding her effectiveness by distinguishing what she could change from what she couldn’t. History was over. No changing it. Next she tried to let go of any anger, embarrassment or criticism about mistakes, but Karen found that nearly impossible. It felt irresponsible not to worry about them, even though she knew holding onto them hurt her effectiveness. What broke the pattern was having something specific and beneficial to do with her worry. When she gave the event and her upset to the goat, he gained new garbage and she gained freedom to move forward at her best.

What You Can Do: Ask: Can I change my mistake now? Can I take back the email I shouldn’t have sent? Change the meeting that lost the account? Can I take back demoralizing a team member? History is over. Accept you can’t change it and stop trying.

When you hold a fear or frustration that saps your energy and focus, create a ritual that helps you release it. Some leaders journal. Some speak to a confidant. Some formally schedule a time limit for worrying, then stop. Some give useless pre-occupations to the goat. Find an approach you like and start using it.

Find the Lessons: When she stopped berating herself or others, Karen started thinking creatively. She converted her mistakes into new ways to improve future results. She realized outstanding leaders aren’t perfect, but they are committed to perfecting – starting with themselves. Karen accepted mistakes not as moral failures, but as opportunities to learn. She still wished she could avoid them, but learned to hold everyone’s humanity and imperfection with new grace and a new willingness to release mistakes.

What You Can Do: Once you’ve let go of obsessing about a mistake, think, perhaps with a trusted advisor or colleague, what you can do better with a similar challenge in the future. Commit to learning to resolve the challenge differently. Defining new options initiates forward momentum and gets you “unstuck.” Implementing them achieves new results and confidence.

Tell the Story of Your Mistakes: Karen initially hid her mistakes and couldn’t believe that I invited her to tell her story to her team. She assumed it would be humiliating and undermine her authority. Courageously, she began sharing the stories and discovered they had three valuable impacts: They taught her team how to avoid making similar mistakes. They encouraged her team to surface and think collaboratively about their mishaps. And, most surprisingly, they built stronger relationships by making her more approachable. Sharing the story of mistakes was the final act of releasing the past and moving forward with enthusiasm.

What You Can Do: Use your mistakes as teaching stories that benefit others. A good story has a problem, a quest for a solution, some twists and turns, failures and a compelling lesson. Tell the story with an appreciation that we all struggle at times. Sharing your struggle and new learning encourages others to recover too. Tell the story as the last step in liberating yourself and returning to being and doing your best.

Business Impact

Giving her upsets to the goat, learning from mistakes, and then sharing her story with others helped Karen to continuously improve. She wasted far less time feeling stuck and frustrated. Karen’s model accelerated the sense of safety, the speed of learning and the quality of results on her team. They learned that it was safe to risk playing big. They learned that the most serious mistakes were those they didn’t learn from quickly.

What’s Next

Use and share these ideas. If you find yourself spending too much time worrying and want to recover faster, contact me. Like Karen, a coaching program can support you in shifting your leadership impact and personal satisfaction.

If leaders you coach want to improve their ability to focus productively, suggest they call me. I am never too busy for your referrals. Our first conversation is always without charge.

Liked the article? Didn’t like it? Have any questions? Drop me a line mkimbell@corporateadventure.com. I’d love to hear from you!

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,Strategy Consultant
Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes April 2008

3 Ways Leaders Unknowingly Sabotage Their Success

These were tough times. The economy was eroding business metrics. One of Galen’s best leaders resigned for family reasons. A good client was complaining about bad service. Galen knew others looked to him for leadership, but these mornings he struggled to get out of bed, much less be the courageous and inspiring leader they wanted. I discovered Galen had to break the vicious cycle of “3 P’s thinking” that erodes leaders’ confidence, enthusiasm and impact. Learn about the “3 P’s” and what you can do to move through hard times with more agility and less pain.

What Worked

Stop Taking It PERSONALLY: Because Galen experienced the pain of setbacks so personally, he falsely interpreted them as personal attacks. When he reset his perspective, he faced facts, not attacks. He stopped reacting and started exploring options. He used his strengths as a problem solver and started taking responsibility for moving forward.

What You Can Do: Emotions are “e-motions” or energy for motion. Feel them and then use their energy to change. Consider the questions: How would I advise my best friend in this situation? How would a great leader advise me? Who would I be without my limiting thoughts? Reconnect with what is most important to you. Accept the long-term challenge, not the short-term defeat. List your personal and team resources, then use them to start making constructive choices.

Don’t Let Your Funk Be PERVASIVE: Galen let his discouragement bleed across his whole worldview. He sheepishly admitted he felt flattened like a teenager who had just lost his first love. Not a resourceful stance! He had lost sight of his strong network, activities that energized him, a spiritual faith that had pulled him through other tough times. Only when he realistically sized up each discrete change, prioritized the challenges and used his rich resources did he stop spiraling down.

What You Can Do: Baseball players “shrink the game.” They learn to do their best on this one pitch, this one at bat or this one play. They zero in on what is most important, now. Shift your focus away from the disappointments and shrink your game to your next opportunity to re-build successfully. Make your next decision and actions winning moments. Winning moments build a winning game.

Stop Believing The Problems Are PERMANENT: Galen deepened his hopelessness by discounting his opportunities to change. He realized “hope” was an active, not a passive verb. He thought about the future he wanted to create, chose courage, and started climbing back. The more action he took, the more energized he felt and the more effective he became.

What You Can Do: Listen to Martina McBride’s hit song, “Anyway.” Life doesn’t guarantee that you will succeed, but you can guarantee that that you will feel proud that you did your best. Sometimes your best IS getting out of bed every morning. Remember how you moved through other hard times successfully. Pull together all the help you can find. Nourish your spirit generously and get back on the horse that threw you. Guarantee your pride and you will certainly increase the odds of success.

Business Impact

Galen strengthened his resilience, a key leadership competency these days. Galen courageously chose a positive perspective. He accepted the challenge to increase his creativity, learn ways to energize himself and others, mobilize his people to accomplish milestones that built their hope, and created lots of reasons to celebrate. Over time, he became the courageous and inspiring leader he wanted to be. He and his team recovered their resilience, turned things around and learned practices that made them stronger professionals for the long term.

What’s Next

Use and share these ideas. If you find yourself stuck in the 3P’s and want to get out faster, contact me. Like Galen, a coaching program can support you in shifting your leadership impact and personal satisfaction.

If leaders you coach want to improve their resilience in tough situations, suggest that they call me. I am never too busy for your referrals. Our first conversation is always without charge.

Liked the article? Didn’t like it? Have any questions? Drop me a line mkimbell@corporateadventure.com. I’d love to hear from you!

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,Strategy Consultant
Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes February 2008

Facing the Risk of Upward Feedback
Are the Inmates Running the Asylum?

Jim was a senior executive who sponsored an annual feedback program for his managers, but he was seriously worried. While the program provided helpful feedback, there was a dangerous side effect developing. For fear of receiving poor scores and criticism, his managers were getting “soft” on holding others accountable. Some managers avoided confronting poor performance and the potential of upsetting staff. They lowered their standards rather than risking poor upward feedback. He saw the trend and asked for help to reverse it.

What Worked

Pay Me Now or Pay Me Later: When he investigated the problem, Jim discovered his managers didn’t consistently establish clear accountabilities and standards at the beginning of assignments. This created a weak basis for assessing performance at the end of them. Without clear expectations, staff felt unjustly criticized when told that they fell short.

Jim taught managers that they had two choices: take time before the assignment to agree on deliverables, quality standards and due dates or suffer problems and pushback later. He taught managers how, by creating clarity and agreement upfront, they could avoid a lot of pain and create a feedback process that staff found valuable, even when they fell short of expectations.

What You Can Do: Check: Do you invest most of your performance management time up front? At the beginning of every assignment do you ask: Do we agree on specific deliverables? Specific due dates? Specific quality expectations? Specific resourcing for success? Do you encourage your direct reports to create joint clarity with their direct reports too? When all parties can say “yes,” this clarity will build better results and avoid conflicts later. If the answer is “no,” you will likely “pay later” with contentious conversations over disappointing results.

Strengthen Relationships All Year: Jim observed that there were often just one or two people who scored his managers harshly. He suspected some managers ignored these “thorns in their sides” because they were so troublesome. Rather than sidestep them, Jim encouraged managers to identify performance problems quickly, address them promptly and coach staff each time they
delivered unacceptable results.

What You Can Do: Check: Do you sidestep performance issues? If you do, find an internal or external coach. Learn to coach your people to improve their performance and motivation. You can build appreciation for even tough feedback. Check: How frequently does your staff approach you with questions, concerns and requests? If they don’t approach you enough, encourage them to come to you with questions and say “thanks” when they do. Invite staff to admit confusion, overload or difficulties and ask for help. It models best practice for everyone when you “put out the welcome mat.”

Learn from Upward Feedback: Jim had intended his feedback program to help managers improve and support them in taking the next steps in their careers. Instead he learned that managers feared that poor scores would penalize their career options. Jim took a hard look at how he used results. He stopped expecting only A+ results. He committed to use feedback solely to support success. When issues showed up, he assured his managers that they had his support in addressing them. He coached managers on how to improve going forward instead of criticizing past performance. He based career moves as much on how effectively they learned and improved results as on any one set of scores. His active support for their growth shifted managers’ fears and shifted his program’s impact from negative to positive.

What You Can Do: Examine how you use feedback data about your staff. Do you use it as a “magnifying glass” to focus on problems and failures? Or, do you use feedback to build new skills and confidence? Have you made it clear that learning and development is the primary purpose for your performance management program? Are you seeking feedback both ways in your reporting relationships? When you do, you have the basis for co-creating an empowering program for improving your organization.

Business Impact

Creating a culture of clear and constructive feedback is invaluable but takes time to develop. Rather than berate his managers, Jim changed his leadership style. He looked the issue squarely in the face and discovered he was a “root cause” of the problem. He started coaching his managers in the ways he wanted them to coach their staff. Jim reversed the early negative trend and was gratified (and relieved) to watch morale, performance, coaching and feedback scores improve.

What’s Next

Use and share these ideas. If leaders you coach are experiencing challenges similar to Jim’s and want to discuss how to achieve similar results, call me. I am never too busy for your referrals.

Call me for a free consultation to explore your goals and how a coaching program can help. I’ve worked with hundreds of leaders to improve their careers, lives and legacies. We welcome your inquiries and look forward to the opportunity to assist you. If you have other leadership challenges you’d like insight about, please, let us know.

Liked the article? Disturbed by it? Have any questions? Drop me a line mkimbell@corporateadventure.com . I’d love to hear from you!
Co-author and colleague Steve Lishansky is an executive coach who builds leadership and organizational effectiveness. His resume is available on our website www.corporateadventure.com or his www.LishanskyPartners.com. You can reach him at Steve@LishanskyPartners.com.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,Strategy Consultant
Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes March 2007

Improving Planning Meetings: Bring a Martian

This month’s Notes gives you three ideas that helped leaders improve participation in their meetings. Read on to learn which can support your success and strengthen you as a coach to your emerging leaders.

Leadership Challenge

• How enthusiastic are you about your team’s planning meetings?
• Do you get the quality of participation you want?

Case in Point

Katherine was tired of boring meetings. She wanted others’ input. She wanted them to think creatively and rigorously. The team needed a clear, well-tested and smart plan they all supported, but when they met, the same one or two took most of the air time. Too many sat passively. They seemed to think she had a plan and that the meeting was just an exercise. They thought she would do what she wanted regardless of their ideas. What could she do?

What Worked

Structure preparation: Katherine started asking for short written preparation. These assignments made every team member realize that their work would be reviewed by everyone. They elevated the importance of contributing creatively and rigorously.

What you can do: Define what background information will help your group face the hard facts of your situation. What are competitors doing that threatens you? What are key clients saying about you? What changes will surprise you next year if you don’t address them proactively? Assign key questions to specific people and ask for a one-page bullet-point report before the meeting. It often takes several such assignments for people to deliver high quality, but once they learn from each other, the quality of preparation, conversation and results will improve.

Don’t blink first: Katherine realized that between wanting to move quickly and having already spent time thinking about options, she got impatient. When she checked, she typically waited about 3 seconds between asking a question and giving her answer. As a result, she consumed about 80% of the airtime in meetings! Katherine learned to endure silence longer than her team. She used others’ discomfort with silence to motivate them to contribute. It worked.

What you can do: How long do you pause between inviting input and speaking again? Instead of holding your breath, count your breaths during silence. It will give you something to do and will relax you as you wait. Remember, many participants need some silence to form their ideas. Think of pausing as “cooking” time before they serve up their contributions.

Bring 3 new chairs: Katherine decided to have fun. She added three chairs around the table and put a hat in front of each. Periodically, she asked specific team members to take the chairs, put on the hats and speak as that role would speak.
She named one chair “competing organization,” put their logo/name on a baseball hat and asked someone to react to the ideas presented. If the person hated them, it was a good guess the team was on to something good! She gave someone a “devil’s advocate” hat, with horns, and asked that role to criticize and find weaknesses in their ideas. She asked a Martian, complete with wiggling antennae, to speak from a totally unbounded, novel perspective. Her creativity brought more than a few raised eyebrows and laughs, but also new energy and ideas to the team.

What you can do: What other perspectives would add new richness to your team’s discussions? What roles could you add to your discussions? Choose team members who are extroverted and most likely to play along with your first tries at this craziness, but keep playing. Keep stretching people to think in new, broader and deeper ways. Appreciate their efforts. Make it fun. Permission to “play” will invite new creativity and results.

Coaching Impact

It took several meetings and a lot of conscious effort from Katherine, but as she encouraged more from her team, she got it. Sometimes, she got more than she expected. At first they were polite, but before long people challenged each other and expressed strong feelings. She was more than happy to have a new facilitation challenge. The new fervor was a lot more productive than silence. She and her team valued their new clarity, engagement and buy-in to their plans.

Whats Next

If you or someone you know wants to facilitate more productive meetings, please call me for a free consultation.
Use and share these practices. If you or leaders you coach are experiencing challenges similar to Katherine’s and want to discuss how to achieve similar results, call me. I am never too busy for your referrals.

I offer a free consultation to explore your goals and how a coaching program can help. I’ve worked with hundreds of leaders to improve their careers, lives, and legacies. I welcome your inquires and look forward to the opportunity to assist you.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,Strategy Consultant
Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”