Leadership Coaching Notes – March 2012

Randy watched his family and personal time shrink as his leadership responsibilities grew. He knew the costs. He knew basic time management techniques, but they were inadequate as he faced an increasing list of “A” priorities. Despite clear goals and weeks of good intention, nothing changed…until I gave him the “NO!” button I found at a Hallmark® card store.

What Worked? Increase Your Sanity and Success by Saying “No”

Remember You Have a Choice: Randy liked being an expert and liked that his accountabilities were urgent and important. His love of contributing too often led to saying, “Yes” before he realized the implication of each decision.  Ironically, he had an “easy” button on his conference table…all too revealing of this debilitating habit.  By adding a NO! button (which barks a memorable, “NO!” with each press), he gained the reminder he needed to pause long enough to make thoughtful choices.

Ask Others to Prioritize:  While Randy put the NO! button on his table for his personal benefit, he was amazed that, without any explanation or threat, his staff spontaneously changed. The button reminded them that Randy could say, “No” to any idea, request or proposal. With this wacky prop, they began coming more prepared and offered him higher quality ideas. They did their homework before they arrived. Their drive to avoid a “NO!” reduced the time everyone spent with low-value ideas.

Say “NO!” to the Mindsets that Sabotage Your Sanity and Success:  Randy began noticing his pattern of choices and specifically, the choices he just assumed required a “yes.”  He discovered there were specific people (e.g., bosses) and kinds of requests (e.g. urgent deadlines, even when the urgency was caused by others’ poor choices) that triggered his self- punishing habit.  As he discovered unproductive mindsets, he challenged his thinking and found options.

Randy realized that he could make a much bigger contribution AND stay saner by skillfully challenging, declining and negotiating more rigorously. He looked at his No! button and asked himself, “Will this request add real value or is it something another just wants off his own plate? Is it urgent, really? Is there someone more appropriate to handle the request? Would another enjoy or learn by responding? Does the request play to my interests and goals or just my desire to be a nice guy who likes to seem invincible?” Some of his discoveries were uncomfortable, but also invaluable for revealing better options.

So What

By saying “No” more appropriately and skillfully, some of the craziness, pressure and struggle of life lifted. Randy took accountability for creating the life he most wanted instead of settling for excuses, stress and passive longing. He reduced unsatisfying mediocrity that came with dashing from task to task and enjoyed delivering strong results on the “critical few” assignments that mattered most to him and his organization. Over time, he strengthened his identity as a valuable leader in the eyes of his boss, peers and team.

While the seduction of old habits always lurked, the impact of his new clarity, commitment and new choices on his health, family and work became so satisfying that temptations became far less alluring. Healthy choices became his new habit.

What’s Next

Overwhelm, frustration, emptiness, health and family issues are invitations to make new choices in life. If you are a leader committed to raising vitality, sanity, meaning and contribution in your life and the lives of others, I am enthusiastic about exploring how to build the habits that produce these. Our first call is always free. You will find me an insightful, inspiring, kind and skillful partner for your journey.

Comments?

Do you have additional ideas for setting boundaries and sustaining focus on what’s most important so you create the life you want? Add your comments below.

Please share this blog with anyone who can benefit from it.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,Strategy Consultant
Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes  December 2011

With many thanks for your friendship and readership, I re-send the following ezine from 2009 with my very best wishes for joyful holidays and a new year of adventure, vitality and leadership success.

Three themes caught my attention recently:  A leader I work with told me that he loved gravity, the force.  When I looked confused, he explained, “Gravity is a constant invitation to drop things rather than pick them up or carry them around for very long.”  Hmmm…. Then, I was listening to NPR about ways to create a “greener” holiday season by simplifying and letting go of “stuff.”  Finally, after shopping this weekend, I discovered “The 12 Days of Christmas” song recycling in my head.

In the spirit of all three themes, I offer you 12 ways leaders can create more joy (with the help of gravity and some practice.)

1. Drop your need to know.  Increase your genuine sense of “wonder” and invite new relaxation, creativity, enthusiasm and possibilities you will never discover without it.
2. Drop your over-exaggerated sense of importance.  If you think you are the only one who “gets it” or can do “it,” you’ve mis-stepped as a leader.  Stop overburdening yourself, overlooking others who want to help and stressing everyone far more than needed. Use the time you find to develop and leverage others more effectively.
3. Let go of any hope of being perfect. Put it down.  Your people won’t be perfect and neither will you.  Dropping this impossible standard will release you to relax, laugh more, delegate more and use others’ input as developmental opportunities vs. “tests” of adequacy.
4. Put down your seriousness.  Laugh at yourself and your mistakes as an awesome way to keep perspective, loosen up and invite others to see you as a person they can approach with ease.
5. Surrender your sense of being indispensible.  Go home.  Take breaks.  Use all your vacation days, unplugged.  Invest in your vitality to keep yourself at your best and set a great example for others.
6. Drop being the first and most dominant voice.  Listen more.  Shrink your airtime and you will connect with others, show that you care, and learn things you’ll never discover any other way.
7. Let go of pre-judging. Hold history like a swordsman holds a sword…not to tight and not too loose.  If you hold on to history too tightly, your prejudices will only guarantee more history.  If you relax and welcome a fresh start, for yourself and others, you will set the stage for creating an adventure worth living.
8. Release self criticism.  Ok, let go of criticism of others too, but start with yourself.  Substitute self reflection and learning for obsessively dumping on yourself.  Contrary to what you may have learned, you really will be brilliant without keeping your foot on the back on your neck.
9. Drop the chatter.  Whether the chatter is in your head, on TV, radio, or social media, turn it off.  Art comes from a blank paper, music from silence and your most authentic knowing and creative ideas from a place of relaxed “flow.”  Learn to relax deeply.  It takes practice, but start with deep breathing during meetings and your commute.
10. Disengage from so much “how”.  Getting consumed with “how will we ….,” puts you on the hamster wheel of urgency, overwhelm and stress.  Get off by focusing yourself and others first on “why” something is worth doing and “what” you can contribute.  Once you are clear on why and what, the how’s will flow far more easily.
11. Drop contracting.  Anytime you feel tight, let it go.  Move, exhale deeply, talk it out, and feel gravity pull down every cell.  Your health, creativity and effectiveness will thank you for it.
12. Release boredom.  Let go of the disengagement that causes boredom.  Wake up to reconnecting with what is most important to you and contributing what fulfills you so you show up enthusiastically, at your best.

So, when you drop all of these, what’s left?  What do you hold on to?  My wish for you is that you hold on to the moment and stay attentive to the freshness of each breath, situation, and person.  Hold on to hope.  Like a puppy, it is an active thing that endlessly snoops around for something intriguing and delightful.  Hold on to gratitude; it brings joy, fulfillment and rest from the struggle.  Hold on to that which lives in your heart as your best source for what is most important and meaningful.  Hold on to your amazing ability to make a positive difference.  Enjoy your brilliance this season.

Do you have other thoughts about what leaders could give to “gravity?”  Please comment below.

May your season be abundant with joy, freedom and flow.  May gravity and your spirit be well fed by your choices.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,Strategy Consultant
Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes December 2011

Recently, I had the sad honor of co-leading the memorial service for an unassuming 45 year old man who I knew for only 2 years, but who I had come to admire deeply. I hadn’t had much visibility to his work life, but was awed, enriched and humbled by it during the week after his death.

Here’s the Story:

Ed was a videographer, one of the unseen, unheralded cameramen and women who shoot TV shows, university programs, and professional sporting events. To the viewers, he was typically invisible. (He did make it on TV once for an instant replay when he was flattened by an NBA player.)

After Ed died, heartfelt comments about his professionalism, values, mentoring, inspiration and friendship poured in on Facebook from his behind-the-scenes colleagues. Touchingly, many changed their Facebook pictures to his. Their expressions of loss and appreciation carried a whole community through a tough time.

At his memorial service, crews he’d worked with more than 20 years earlier attended. They were totally present. Leaders pay me a lot to help strengthen their executive presence, but these men and women needed no coaching. They came with an open hearted, unpretentious, generosity of spirit and expressions of warm support that lit up the entire experience.

Since the memorial, this community has supported Ed’s wife with ongoing FB postings, invitations to take Ed’s place at their events and enthusiastic welcomes when she attends. They have been a powerful, essential support system she hadn’t realized she had.

I discovered that camera crews film each other in unsuspecting moments. They splice their clips together to share at holiday parties when it is time to laugh. The following clip is a sample of a memorial one of them created for Ed.  We shared it to finish his memorial service.

If you want to feel really good, it is worth 2 minutes to watch. You’ll meet Ed, enjoy the care put into creating it, and remember the magic that unsung heroes have to offer.

So What?

If senior leaders and white-collar professionals consistently saw, acknowledged, tapped and embodied the energy, spirit and kindness available from those who work at the periphery of their attention, the work place would be better for all. Perhaps the culture of Zappos is a most familiar example of a company who’s done this well.

What’s Next:

I’ve begun interacting with customer service people and others who work behind the scenes differently. What can I notice about them and their worlds? How can I show my appreciation? What might I offer them that supports their success?  I’m rewarded with more ease, connection and assistance than I’ve invited before.  Give it a try and please share your experiences!

If you are a leader who would like to explore how to stay highly motivated yourself and create more inspired work environments for everyone, contact me. The first call is always free.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,
Strategy Consultant Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following: “Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

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Leadership Coaching Notes: July 2011

I seldom use sports examples, but recent finishes are too dramatic and instructive to pass by.

At the Masters Golf Tournament, sensation Rory McIlroy completely dominated the first 3 days of play only to falter so badly in the final holes of the last round that he failed to make the top 10. Painful to watch and I’m sure excruciating to experience.

At the Indianapolis 500, after 499 miles and within sight of the checkered flag, the driver of the leading car, rookie J. R. Hildebrand, decided to lap a slower car that was no threat, got caught in the loose marbles along the edge of the track, and crashed into the wall. It cost him a sure win.

By contrast, the Dallas Mavericks in Game 2 of the NBA playoffs were 15 points behind the dominating Miami Heat with 6 minutes to play. They won. It wasn’t so much that the Heat lost as that the Mavericks went into overdrive to stage one of the greatest comebacks we’ve seen. They did it again in Game 4.

In business today, how we finish defines our standings and futures, too. How we finish shapes our reputations and our profits. It defines our clients’ loyalty and willingness to refer us to others. If you doubt it, just remember the contractor you couldn’t get back to your home to finish your remodeling project.

The Temptations:

The temptations to lose focus and discipline and get sloppy are many:

The creative start up phase is over. Endings are often a slog across the finish line. It’s harder to sustain top form.

You are tired after a demanding project and so, if it’s gone well, you might be seduced into coasting to the finish line.

These days, you doubtlessly juggle multiple projects vying for your attention and perhaps new ones waiting to start. If your project takes longer than you thought, you’re way overbooked and finishing gets complicated.

The reality is that your client, your sales pipeline and your development plan don’t care if you’re bored, tired or overbooked, but they still define your success and future.

What Works:

Don’t Finish ’til You Finish: Professionalism requires that you know your goal line exactly, sustain your attention, and give it your 100% best until you cross it. No excuses. No bending the standards to suit your own comfort and convenience. No passing it off to others so you can make it easier for yourself. Finish and your clients will win, as will your self-confidence, resilience, pride and credibility.

Pause and Breathe: At the finish, there’s no time for a vacation or even a weekend, but there are times for periodic pauses long enough to re-center, refocus and choose again. These moments are particularly critical if you are tired, losing your nerve or starting to tell yourself stories of either certain victory or hopeless defeat. These reset moments are familiar to every exhausted and worried parent with a sick child. Use them frequently and finish strong.

Mobilize and Support Others to Contribute: Leaders sometimes get heroic and grandiose about their ability to score at the end, alone. They ignore others as resources or in a mistaken effort to be “kind,” they let others move on to a new project and avoid the hard times. (How will they learn the discipline of finishing strong?)

If you’ve chosen to consistently invest in building your team, they will want to be part of the close. You and they will cheer each other on and play to each other’s strengths. You won’t let each other quit. If finishing strong requires going into overdrive like the Mavericks did, do it. You’ll know you’ve built a great team when they pull together for the final defining minutes. Regardless of the outcome, everyone will be stronger for it.

What’s Next?

Everyone remembers strong finishes…sports fans, staff, peers and clients. If you, your team or those you are developing as leaders are struggling to finish strong, call me. There are mindsets, practices and organization systems that can help to make you and your team proud of your finishes and win more often in the future. I enjoy exploring your situation and how I can help you learn to use them and teach to others to use them successfully. Your first call is always free.

If you have other ideas about finishing strong, share them with me at mkimbell@corporateadventure and I’ll pass them along.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,
Strategy Consultant Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes J U N E   2 0 1 1

How to Create Inspiring Competition

Thanks for re-subscribing to the Corporate Adventure® and Energy to Spare™community! I look forward to exchanging ideas and discoveries on the journey of creating outstanding results. Please share your feedback and requests, anytime!

A Game for the Ages

It’s amazing that today at Wimbledon, John Isner and Nicholas Mahut have drawn a repeat match up, exactly one year after they taught the world about competition at its best. Last year, for 11 hours and 138 games, they set multiple new records and exploded any previous expectations we held for playing great tennis. They showed all of us how to choose a quality of competition that transforms performance.

What Did They Teach that Can Make Our Lives, Teams and Organizations Outstanding?

Play for Something Bigger: While both athletes wanted to win, they also played knowing they could elevate their skills, be part of history, and create something to be proud of no matter what their personal outcome.

Appreciate Your Opponents: Each man valued the other and treated him graciously, fairly and appreciatively, well beyond the requirements of minimal sportsmanship. Each chose to be energized by engaging with another who challenged him to perform beyond anything he could possibly imagine. Each knew the other was needed to elevate not only his game, but the sport of tennis itself. How much fun is that?!

Engage Your Cheering Section: And then, there was the SRO crowd. They repeatedly inspired the players with standing O’s for extraordinary play. They cheered great effort regardless of who won the points. They were brought together and elevated by the athleticism, courage, level of play, spirit, tenacity and awe of what these two competitors created for everyone.

Everyone left feeling grateful. Everyone left feeling exhausted and exhilarated. Everyone knew they were bonded for life. “Were you there? Remember that point?”

What Creates Enlivening, Elevating Competition?

Clarity: At a simple level, it takes a set of important and clear goals, boundaries, rules and agreements for how to play and a clear definition of what winning and losing mean.

Check: How clear are these elements of success on your team?

Preparation: The players couldn’t have broken so many records without endless hours of conditioning and practice, physically and mentally. In their match, there were countless choice points for playing or relaxing/giving up. Each time, each player not only chose to play, but to play e-news with anyone you full out. This quality of focus, endurance and skill comes only from disciplined preparation.

Check: How well are you continuously investing in preparing yourself and your team for top performances?

Passion: There is another element that can only be described as love. Both men and everyone in the crowd LOVED what they were doing. They loved the flow of the experience and simply were not willing to let go of it. Each loved that they got to play in a situation that would engage them at this level. They dived into more play, point after point, unwilling to quit. Even the crowd chanted “We want more!” as darkness fell.

Check: How enthusiastic are you and your team about doing your work, breaking through old limits, and amazing others with new quality and value? Write down 3 great reasons you and they should be.

Bottom Line

Last year’s match reminded us that practice, being in the flow of doing what you love and playing full out with great competitors in front of demanding yet enthusiastic audiences creates both success and a lot of vitality. The match created an energy that overflowed from the stadium and will overflow to inspire future players and the whole game of tennis. It reminded everyone who watched that people, and, just maybe they, can be amazing.

I think we can create the same in business. Competition can create the most exhilarating, performance-raising environment around.

What’s Next?

If you’re a leader committed to making a big contribution and interested in accelerating your success and the success of your teams, I’d enjoy talking with you. There are big challenges involved and I enjoy helping leaders face and address them in ways that create new vitality and success. Contact me at mkimbell@corporateadventure.com.

If you have additional comments or thoughts to share, please send them on as well.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,
Strategy Consultant Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes  M A Y 2 0 1 1

Get in Shape to Lead

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6 Ways to Get in Shape to Lead

We wouldn’t dream of running a marathon without getting in shape, but too often, we accept demanding leadership assignments without a thought of getting in shape to succeed.

If you are coasting instead of training in these 6 habits, you risk unnecessary crises, injuries to yourself and your reputation, and damage to key relationships. How are you doing?

1. Ask “Why?”

I am honored to support leaders who improve the lives of poor and oppressed people around the world. They lead organizations that will never fully succeed and will face more setbacks than successes in their lifetimes. Yet, they are inspiring and effective leaders because they’ve answered “why?” with clear-eyed, conviction.

Many others, including me, are less disciplined and say, “yes” before asking, “why?”
Later, we feel trapped, stressed and resentful of the obligations we carry. Forgetting to answer “why?” can cripple resourcefulness, enjoyment and success — your own and others’.

2. Cross Train:

Strength, flexibility, endurance and agility define physical and leadership health.
Cross training different muscle groups builds these at the gym. Pushing yourself to continuously learn new skills, views, cultures, and philosophies builds them for leaders.

Want more versatility, creativity and skill for spotting opportunities and risks faster?
Cross train.

3. Power Up:

In the gym yesterday, I listened to the aerobics instructor extol her class to “Power up!”She knew that top conditioning builds by alternating high exertion with times to coast. Tony Schwartz’s research on high performers in sports, military, and business shows that using frequent recovery rituals and then “powering up” always beats relentless effort, even by the most skilled players.
Need more focus and energy? Identify and practice simple recovery rituals regularly and consistently. Breathe and stretch after each phone call. Take lunch. Work in multiple 20 minute sprints. They are far more productive than a forced march.

4. Use Training Partners:

I am amazed at the ways that leaders deprive themselves of support that would make their work easier, faster and more impactful. Many tackle all tasks themselves, believing they are “saving” others and can do the work faster, easier and better.

Want less stress and more impact? Ask, “Am I the best person to do this work?” You’ll find people who are happy to help. You’ll also make time and energy to deliver strategic, high-value results that only a leader can contribute.

5. Hold Your Punches:

Inexperienced athletes and leaders react to distractions, insults and temptations.Trained athletes and leaders don’t. Learn the discipline of when to stop. Learn when a situation is ripe for action and when no amount of skill or effort will make a difference. Practice recognizing when others are baiting you and when they are challenging you to grow.

Want more respect and loyalty? Learn to stop making low-road decisions in fits of anger, exhaustion or fear. They live like mistakes on your credit reports that are so beastly hard to overcome.

6. Exercise Physically:

Leading is flat out hard work and requires physical and mental endurance and strength. Schedule regular exercise, eat well and keep yourself in shape for the adventure. A trainer can help you achieve what you want.

What’s Next?

Discipline and practice …there’s no escaping them for leaders committed to achieving top performance. Choose one habit to strengthen and start shaping up today! Tell us, what other disciplines build your fitness for leadership success? I welcome your ideas and feedback at mkimbell@corporateadventure.com.

If you or others you mentor want to build greater leadership strength, agility and endurance so you achieve the impact that you most want, contact me for a free introductory call to explore how I can help. I love helping leaders become more successful and build Energy to Spare™!

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,
Strategy Consultant Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes  APRIL 2011

Improve Your Coaching

Mitch’s organization announced that senior leaders would be assigned two high-potential staff from another function to coach. He learned that his coachees would rate the value of his coaching as part of his performance review.

Knowing that good intention wasn’t enough to produce good results, he asked me, “What can I do to create a positive environment for coaching conversations?”

Four Essentials for High-Value Coaching

Mitch learned to leverage his strong knowledge, leadership insights, and success strategies by adding the following essentials. They helped him create more open, meaningful and valuable conversations.

1. Presence:

Give your coachees the gift of your full interest, attention and authentic experience. If you want to create safety and invite rich conversations, set a space with privacy and no phones, computers, or interruptions. Get real. Forget spinning your experiences to make yourself look good.

Share your experiences when they help inform, encourage or inspire your coachees. When it will help them, share your tough times, your uncertainties, and the struggles that you had to master to advance. Exercise your Emotional Intelligence muscles.

2. Curiosity vs. Answers:

Hold your answers. In coaching conversations, your power and value live in the quality of your questions. Ask questions of discovery and let your coachees explore their own answers before you offer any of your own.

• What would make our time valuable today? What do you want to leave with?
• What are you thinking about X? What leads you to think or choose X? What other possibilities might you have overlooked?
• What must you say, face and/or change to achieve X? Will
•  What support do you need and how will you set it up to build more success?

3. Skillful Feedback:

Name what currently is working and the strengths others already have. Positive feedback invites connection. More than that, many of us overlook our strengths as “normal” and so miss opportunities to leverage them to build new successes. Naming strengths builds resources and also invites your coachees to feel more comfortable about raising their tough questions.

The art of coaching about problems starts with accurately naming the positive intentions coachees had when something unwanted occurred.Did they intend to add value, but did it unskillfully? Did they intend to do one thing well, but sacrificed another in the process? Did they intend to stay within their comfort zone so as not to risk mistakes? Name and show you appreciate their positive intention in a situation they found new or difficult. (It is always possible to find a positive intention.) You’ll open their ears and minds to the exploration and guidance you offer.

Once you have named a positive intention, explore how it was insufficient – outdated, ill-informed, not appropriate to meet their goals. Then, find options to improve. Sometimes your coachees will know alternatives and sometimes they will want to hear your suggestions. Whichever happens, ask coachees, “What will you do next time?” and wait for them to state their commitments for making future changes out loud.

4. Support:

Encourage specific commitments to ask specific people for specific help within a time frame. Without a powerful support network, most of us procrastinate, struggle and then achieve disappointing long-term results. Think New Year’s resolutions.

Offer and follow through on help you can give. Open doors. Make introductions. Provide opportunities to observe you in action. Suggest learning programs and new project opportunities that will support their career development. Knowing you believe in them and care enough to help creates off-the-charts, long-term value for your coachees.

What’s Next?

Becoming a skillful coach takes more than these four skills. Ideally, take a good coaching course and at a minimum read or listen to CDs on coaching. But fundamentally, structure a way to receive mentored practice, especially around the trickiest situations. There is no better way to learn.

If you or those you are developing want to accelerate your learning, I provide customized personal practice and masterful feedback that teaches and inspires comfort, competence and excellence as a high- value coach. Our first conversation is always free. Call today to explore how I can support your success.

Please send any feedback to mkimbell@corporateadventure.com.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,
Strategy Consultant Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes MARCH 2011

Like a chess game, leading change is a lot about continuous and skillful “positioning.” Chess masters consider how to respond to the variety of possible choices their opponents might make – more than a dozen moves ahead before they move. (I find it mind boggling!)

Fundamentally, masters of change (chess or leadership) take a broad, long-term and detailed view of future possibilities. They habitually consider the potential impact of their next choices before they thoughtfully move to strengthen the probability for success. They move to create a future vs. act from habit or familiarity. Some moves may appear “weak,” but from a bigger context, they position moving forward, e.g., like a soccer/football player who passes the ball backwards to a player with more options for scoring.

Leaders don’t play with chess pieces or soccer balls; they play with words and actions. They don’t play against anyone; they play against resistance to change. The story and questions below show how a senior leader used the chess strategy to build buy-in for changes needed to deliver stronger team results.

Adam’s Challenge:

Adam arrived excited about helping his diverse, geographically dispersed team deliver more value to key stakeholders. He thought it was obvious that stronger collaboration and new performance disciplines would support everyone’s success and enthusiasm.
He was shocked to learn how much headwind he faced.

• The prior leader’s laissez-faire style permitted diverse managers to do their own things in their own styles and to their own standards … as long as they didn’t embarrass him or the organization. They liked their autonomy and didn’t want to change.
• Adam worked for a boss who’d leave shortly and didn’t want complaints from Adam’s managers. He had no interest in rocking the boat on his remaining watch.
• The organization lacked common standards for setting goals or managing performance, so there was little cultural support for making changes that were critical.
• His managers met his ideas with resistance, both outright and passive.

He called for help. Keep reading to learn how he used positioning to shift their thinking, willingness to change and, over time, the impact of their efforts

A Short Case Study about Building Team Buy-In

Leverage the Vulnerability of Being the New Kid on the Block

Knowing that new kids are usual suspect and easily ostracized, we explored how to invite his managers to view Adam as their supporter while, at the same time, raise their interest in serving the needs of key stakeholders better. We chose his next leadership moves to convey both his appreciation of his managers (build relationship) as well as to build the case for changing, with Adam as their chosen vs. imposed leader.

6 Positioning Questions to Focus Managers on Reasons to Change

Adam brought his managers together “to help build greater mutual support.” This positioning played to their self-interest, but he also designed the meeting to create a deeper and compelling awareness of what their key stakeholders needed and what the team could deliver to better meet those needs.

In the meeting, Adam didn’t tell, he asked. Rather than “don’t you think?” questions, he asked truly open, curious questions that helped everyone appreciate the views and current contributions of each manager’s group. He designed questions to expand their world views, tap into their desire to be part of making a real difference and create new urgency for raising performance. He brought everyone together and asked each manager to share answers to 6 questions.

Click here for a copy of the questions he asked that helped to shift managers’ readiness and support for accepting his leadership, releasing comfortable habits and making a bigger difference.

Impact of Positioning Questions

Shared World View: The conversations began to build a shared team context instead of the narrow worldviews of isolated islands of (self-) interest and control. Adam helped them shift decision criteria from internal to external and positioned greater reason for collaboration and change.

New Confidence: By highlighting current successes, he built their pride and the confidence and positioned greater readiness for taking the risks of changing.

Common Compelling Vision: Once they co-created the need for changing, Adam invited them to envision the specific changes required and define synergies that would improve value for external stakeholders. Their vision became the magnet for change vs. him the ogre demanding it.

Leader as Resource: His questions defined his role as their chief supporter for achieving the changes they wanted. As they built a stronger awareness of and confidence in each other, they were gradually more open to experimenting with new approaches for improving value, with Adam facilitating their progress.

Momentum: With their shared, externally driven definition of “success standards” (not arbitrarily imposed by Adam), the shifts began to appear. Better feedback from stakeholders and improvement on the new metrics reinforced the team’s collaborative efforts and use of best practice.

The Competence-Confidence Loop

The more confident managers became, the more willing they were to invest in building new competence. And, likewise, the more competent they became, the more their confidence grew. It became a wonderful virtuous circle.
Adam started with little influence or support for his vision, but he built them from within the team. It took months of patient and flexible positioning and consistent implementation discipline, but everyone began to see the impact they were creating and enjoyed the feel of working on a team making exciting progress.
Adam achieved new and self-renewing success by shifting his own definition of “leading” away from telling and convincing to positioning change by asking, promoting curiosity and focusing forward. It stretched his growth and patience, and proved well worth it.

What’s Next?

If you or people you are developing need to bring your teams to the next levels of performance and contribution faster, I can often help you achieve your goals easier and with Energy to SpareTM. Please contact me for a free first conversation to explore your situation and how I might help. I look forward to talking with you!

What do you think? Will you share your ideas about how you recharge and ease the load everyone quickly encourages you to carry?

Please send any feedback to mkimbell@corporateadventure.com.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,
Strategy Consultant Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”
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Leadership Coaching Notes FEBRUARY 2011

Exhausted? 3 Ideas for Making a Change

Do you feel like Sisyphus, the king who Zeus condemned to push a giant boulder up a hill for all eternity? You recall it rolled to the bottom before he reached the top so he never experienced success.

I’ve heard leaders say, usually in private, that they experience similar overwhelm and dread. They face way too many “priorities” and fires to fight. They work in organizations that typically reward their successes with bigger “stretch” goals the following year.

If exhaustion is familiar to you, consider 3 modern approaches that many leaders overlook when facing their Sisyphean tasks. They can help to ease your way.

Get a Workout Partner: Those who hate going to the gym often contract with a workout partner to both cheer them on when the work is most challenging and give them a hard time when they start to slack off. They make their workout “rock” easier and even fun, with company.

How often do you think you are the only one who can accomplish your work? How often do you say “no” for others before you’ve even asked for their assistance? These 2 common mistakes contribute to the exhaustion of leaders I’ve met, including me.

Consider giving others the gift of letting them assist you. Most people derive a lot of pleasure from doing something helpful and knowing they make a difference. How might you lighten your load by asking for and accepting that others might truly be happy to pitch in? Ask for one thing today.

Organize a Roll-a-thon: Imagine if Sisyphus had organized others to donate towards a great cause for each foot he rolled the boulder. Whether it’s a “Walk for the Cure” or “Hoops for Hope,” people find it energizing to support a great cause with their time, talents and money. If Sisyphus had looked beyond his immediate challenge and had re-defined it so he focused on how his work created value for someone, his experience could have been different. Task stays the same, but motivation and fulfillment shift.

OK, you won’t enroll many to pay you for each workday you complete, but you can focus yourself and others on the benefits of activities you must finish. (If you can’t, why are you doing them?) You can make filing reports easier when you remember how they help achieve a higher purpose, e.g., getting reimbursed for expenses or assuring others have career-building feedback during their reviews. Keep the “why” behind each activity in front of your people and yourself. Notice what shifts.

Smell the Roses: Each time the rock rolled downhill, Sisyphus also walked down before starting his work again. I wonder if he thought to enjoy that walk, temporary as it was.

AA senior leader I worked with traveled extensively. When he was at home, he was pre-occupied with emails, calls and work … until he was blessed by a tornado. (True story.) Since lying over his kids to protect them as the “train” passed and the glass shattered in the next room, he now prioritizes smelling the roses. He still travels extensively, but when at home, he invests 100% in making the most of it.

When you are on the hamster wheel of activity and stressed, stopping may seem impossible. It isn’t. Periodic, renewing breaks as simple as enjoying lunch away from your desk make a big difference in your ability to enjoy and do your best. Buy a rose and keep it nearby this week. Let it remind you to stop and enjoy all the times you can re- fuel.

What’s Next?

If you or leaders you work with are too tired too much of the time, these whimsically presented, but substantive ideas aren’t a complete solution for you. I welcome the opportunity to talk with you, explore your situation and learn how I might help ease your way. You deserve to feel and be at your best, often! A 20-minute call is free and has no obligation.

What do you think? Will you share your ideas about how you recharge and ease the load everyone quickly encourages you to carry?

Please send them to mkimbell@corporateadventure.com and I’ll pass them on.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,
Strategy Consultant Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes JANUARY 2011

Parenting Your Boss

Research from the Gallup Organization, reported in Wellbeing: The Five Essential Elements, © 2010, found that the quality of people’s relationships with their bosses is a major factor in their levels of motivation, productivity, and even physical health. But, they also report a study at Princeton University that found that the person most people LEAST enjoy being around is – drum roll, please – their boss.

Own Your Relationship with Your Boss

While kids enjoy the cathartic game, “Kick the Can,” too many adults enjoy the professional version, “Kick the Boss.” While it’s true that even the best bosses can occasionally be unreasonable, distracted, disruptive, distant, inept, confusing, and infuriating, how much good does it create to kick them for it?

If you are ready to move beyond complaining and build a future you like better, consider treating your boss similar to a youngster you love. Choose to connect from a place of deep regard, curiosity and boundless optimism. Here are a few specific ideas for improving your connection with your boss, and perhaps your boss’ way of connecting with you.

3 Ways to Raise a Better Boss

Know His World: When you love a child, you invest in understanding what he faces in life and what matters to him. How well do you understand your boss’ complex reality? It’s amazingly lonely at the top. What impact would a sincerely interested, trustworthy listener have?

If you expect your boss or your kids to handle the world perfectly, the frustration and irritation you’re sure to feel when they fumble will limit your ability to appreciate them. If you accept that bosses face impossible challenges, feel overwhelmed, and do things they later regret, there is new opportunity for compassion and support. You can ease a lot of tension, fear and upset with interest and acceptance… to everyone’s benefit.

Come Prepared: Kids want different things from parents at different times. Sometimes they want to be spontaneous. Other times they want you to bring something structured and engaging to do. Learn what your boss enjoys. Remember it is a good guess that bosses always find great work, well considered, well prepared, on time and with no surprises really fun and engaging.

How consistently do you prepare what your boss most values – creative ideas, great thinking, high quality projects or relaxing humor? How often do you bring suggestions for making life better for your boss, clients, team and company?

TLC for Your Boss: When bosses do something badly, offer concern, support, coaching and another chance, just as you would do for your kids. We forgive our children dozens of times a day and start fresh the  next morning. What would happen if you offered this gift to your boss, too?

When you hear troubling news they should know, become skillful at talking truth to power. Being kept in the dark and then surprised is scary for kids and bosses. It seldom brings out their best.

Finally, when kids come home with exciting news, they’re thrilled to share with an attentive parent. Who celebrates your boss’ efforts, progress and successes? Are you missing great opportunities to congratulate him, acknowledge his strengths, have fun together and cheer him on? Done sincerely, these are some of the easiest, cheapest, most overlooked, underused yet valued contributions you can make… to kids, bosses, and everyone in your life.

What’s Next?

For as complicated as it is to succeed at business, one of your most perplexing challenges can be working well with your boss. It is also one of your most valuable challenges to master.

If you are struggling with creating a relationship that engages you and your boss positively, go to our website, www.corporateadventure.com and click on Make An Appointment. You can schedule a free 30-minute conversation in which we can explore your situation and new choices.

What do you think? I’d love to hear your ideas and stories about how to improve boss relationships. Please share them at mkimbell@corporateadventure.com and I’ll pass them on.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,
Strategy Consultant Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”