Bragging is unattractive and elevator speeches often lead others to look over your shoulder. So, how do you build your reputation in ways that engage others? After two years, I vividly recall a senior executive, Chris, who captivated 200 people and left us all with lasting admiration for his leadership. What did he do?

Prepare Your Leadership Challenge Stories 

Rather than sharing business facts, insights or visions, Chris spent 45 minutes telling stories. Glued to hearing poignant personal examples of how he handled tough career and business challenges, he taught us valuable ways we too could build our own leadership success. We left admiring his principled, creative and effective leadership and wanted more.

Design Three Distinctive Stories of Your Own

Below are three templates you can use to create stories that will teach and inspire others as they also build your credibility. Take fifteen minutes, identify an interesting leadership challenge you met that highlights valuable leadership practices, and draft your experiences so you can tell them in under 30 seconds.

1. The new value you/your team created.
   Complete the template:We (team, client, community) initially couldn’t imagine how we could (name the daunting challenge, mess, risk or opportunity,) but we discovered that by (name the two most important leadership attitudes, abilities or actions you used,) we achieved (name the two most significant benefits key stakeholders received, not all the steps required.)
2. How you brought out others’ best in challenging situations. Complete the template:We were (add adjectives e.g., confused, overwhelmed, ready to give up) as we faced (vividly describe the tough situation,) but by (describe the 2 practical, repeatable, valuable actions you took as a leader that equipped others to surpass their expectations,) we mobilized to tackle it and we (name specific changes, outcome, or value others created.)
3. How you modeled important leadership values. Complete the template:When we realized (name the messy challenge), it was tempting to (name unhelpful attitudes or actions many might have chosen.) Instead, I (describe the highroad leadership attitudes and actions you chose) and was so happy that (name a person, team or client and the benefits they derived.)

The next time you talk with your superiors, lead a team meeting or give a presentation, tell one of your personal stories. Your stories help others relate to you and remember value you can add.

If each element is compelling and others have time, they will ask to hear more details. If they don’t ask, they will still remember a positive experience with you.

Encourage Others to Retell Your Stories

Everyone tells stories, but what makes yours memorable and worthy of retelling?

1. Tell true stories that describe a significant struggle, discovery and victory that matters to your listeners. Share the thoughts and actions that will help others succeed in similar situations.
2. Start with a short hook or headline that draws others to want to hear more of your story. What newspaper headline would engage people to want to read more details?
3. Assure your story teaches specific practical ideas others can use. Stakeholders will want to share your story when retelling it adds to their credibility and value, too.
4. Craft the drama of your story (challenge, struggle and discovery followed by the victorious outcome) and disclose two lessons learned that will help others succeed. Focusing on the victory and lessons as lead elements puts your strengths (what you did to deliver) as supporting elements that inspire and teach. They don’t grab the spotlight as arrogant or self serving.
5. Share stories strategically. Tell key stakeholders most likely to advocate for you so they can re-tell your story to people you can’t reach. Proactively ask your advocates to tell others who have an outdated or inaccurate picture of you. Their word can impact others more than your direct efforts.

What’s Next

Your influence depends so much on the stories others tell about you. Learn what they say and understand why. Design and tell stories so others can and want to retell them. Your reputation and the strength of your network depend on it. Stories will be told about you…assure they are the ones you want.

If you or leaders you mentor want to enhance your credibility and contributions as leaders, I can help you to identify, design and deliver stories that build your reputation. Contact me to explore your situation, needs and options for creating new success through stories.

Comments:

If you have additional ideas for creating and using stories to advance your credibility and will write to me at mkimbell@corporateadventure.com, I’ll share them with others in the future. If you want to share an example of powerful storytelling, I’d love to hear and, with your permission, will pass your story along, too.

Please share this blog with anyone who can benefit from it.
All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
President, Corporate Adventure^®
Executive Advisor, Strategy Consultant, Leadership Energizer

KE Photography, Kari Elliot Photographer

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 30 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to improve performance by solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2013. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following: “Leadership Coaching Notes” © 2013 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure^®, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Donna was proud of her commitment to excellence and shocked to realize it was a problem. Only when she received a great job opportunity did she discover her brilliance was about to leave her boss with an ugly problem, with insufficient bench strength essential for his future success. Keep reading to learn what she tried that didn’t work to build it…and 3 choices that did.

What Didn’t Work: Capable Heroine = Complacent Staff

Donna initially expressed only frustration with her people…until she realized that she had swooped in to save the day so regularly that she’d let, no, she’d undermined their learning to think, deliver quality on time and lead productive meetings. She’d solved the breakdowns vs. taught them to create solutions. She’d taken over struggling projects vs. held them accountable. She’d met with clients vs. sent staff to facilitate progress. Her pride as Capable Heroine, complete with sparkling ring, cape and impressive victories, had enabled staff complacence, casual quality and unreliable accountability.

When I arrived, she felt embarrassed and worried it was too late to recover. Donna explained how she had tried to build performance by giving staff detailed instructions, but few followed them very well.  She tried a tough love, hands-off, you-figure-it out style, but they still missed targets. She got mad, but they withdrew rather than stepped forward. In our work, we discovered 3 approaches that accelerated staff development and progress.  Which might help build the capabilities and future success of people you lead?

3 Keys That Worked: Disciplined Coach = Skillful Staff

Update Your Title: Even though she held a “Director” title, Donna realized that she functioned most often as an outstanding individual contributor. To develop new bench strength, she first chose to step down from the personal glories of Capable Heroine and step up to become Awesome Coach, a leader who helped others learn to shine. As Awesome Coach, she dedicated herself to inspire and help others think broadly and rigorously, make and meet commitments, deliver quality, innovate, and learn, continuously.

Change for Their Benefit, Not Yours: Donna announced new goals to staff by explaining what changes to expect and how the higher expectations would help THEM. She made it a drum beat, for weeks, in every interaction, to name the personal benefits each change would offer THEM. She built a strong linkage between how each step toward upgrading their practices also upgraded their success, confidence and career opportunities.

Teach How to Think – Ask, “What Happened?” Anytime staff improved, Donna asked “what” (vs. why or how) questions with genuine curiosity. “What did you do to find this information? To develop this new solution? To deliver great quality on time? To create positive feedback from our client?” Asking them to recall the attitudes, actions and aptitudes they had used strengthened their awareness of and readiness to use effective standards and practices in the future.  Internalized, they could independently use them to produce growing success, without any desire for a Heroine.

When staff fell short, Donna learned to drop her knee-jerk frustration and choose to coach. Rather than starting with her favorite question, “What will you do differently next time?” she learned to ask, “What happened?’ and “What led you to make that decision?”  She taught staff to identify key choice points, use contingency thinking, and weigh potential impacts.  Donna figuratively put her arm around their shoulders and taught them how to think. When they discovered better choices, occasionally with some guidance, Donna always finished by asking two questions, “Can you do it?  Will you?”  By confirming confidence and a verbal commitment for accountability, they followed through more successfully.

So What

I’m not sure who initially struggled more.  Donna worked to break long-standing habits of supplying the answers and taking over difficult work.  Staff worked to dig for information, propose good ideas before asking for help, and master the disciplines required for producing quality results. But, both improved. Donna wished she’d started investing much earlier, but left her job certain that she would stay Awesome Coach, continuously develop staff and feel proud of the bench quality she left when she took her next promotion.

Now What

Developing the people around you is critical, especially as future success demands continuously improving everyone’s capacity, capability and creativity. There are many more leadership practices that can help you build the bench quality you want.

If you or leaders you coach are committed to optimize bench strength faster, call me to explore your situation and how I might support your success. Our first call is always free.

Comments?

Do you have additional ideas for strengthening performance as a leader coach? I welcome your ideas and feedback at mkimbell@corporateadventure.com. Thanks!
Please share this blog with anyone who can benefit from it.
All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
President,Corporate Adventure®
Executive Advisor, Strategy Consultant, Leadership Energizer

KE Photography, Kari Elliot Photographer

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 30 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to improve performance by solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2013. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following: “Leadership Coaching Notes” © 2013 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure®, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Executive presence describes how powerfully you communicate with your stakeholders. When it’s strong, they find your messages clear, compelling and engaging. Take out your cell phone and let it remind you to use 3 practices for building executive presence that will help you get through to your audiences. Keep reading to learn more.

How Your Cell Phone Delivers Messages

While everyone wants to get through on cell phone calls, a leader must get through to key stakeholders. Listeners expect valuable communications (ideas, decisions, direction and support) and they will stop listening if your transmission isn’t powerful.  Three practices that will strengthen your presence and effectiveness are:

Stay Energized

While we might wish that our phone batteries and personal energy stayed strong endlessly, both require daily recharging. A phone becomes a paperweight without juice, but a leader without energy can become much worse – indecisive, distracted, defensive, and destructive to everyone’s spirit and performance.

What You Can Do: Enthusiasm sells. Keep your personal batteries charged. If you want strong presence, exhaustion won’t help. It’s not a luxury to take great care of yourself physically, emotionally and spiritually. It’s a leadership competence.  Define what you’re passionate about contributing in life and discover what others need to know so they will support your cause. Inspire and engage others by showing your passion as you share your vision and ideas for bringing it to life.

Stand Out, Stand Tall

By standing taller than the surrounding buildings and landscape, cell towers pick up, sort and send clear, strong signals far and wide. The strength of your presence and influence depends on positioning yourself visibly and being recognized as someone who listens broadly, sorts out what’s valuable from all the noise and shares clear messages listeners value.

What You Can Do: Listen broadly to people in various levels and functions, inside and outside your organization. Learn from them so you can offer new ideas and open new connections. Sort through the chaos swirling around you and select messages that will most help your audiences succeed. Add your ideas and resources to ever wider audiences. Stand tall with posture and attitudes that show you at your best every time you speak. Consistently take the high road on living your values so you stand tall for them as well.

Transmit Clearly: Can You Hear Me Now?

Listeners feel frustrated when phone calls or you:

• Transmit intermittently so they must struggle to make sense of snippets of information or worse, when communications “drop” completely. Instead, consistently keep lines of communications open with your audience so you can share and learn without anyone guessing or struggling to reach each other.

• Check: How clearly and consistently you are transmitting and asking others about their important messages? Do you stop connecting when you get busy and leave others wondering, “Are you there?” Transmit your ideas, information and recommendations using a structured flow that others follow easy. Periodically check how you are coming through to each other and how clearly all parties understand key information.

• Are so full of static that messages are incoherent.  Instead, when you present, take out distracting, tangential or unclear thoughts and simplify complicated ideas that may confound others. Help others to clarify their ideas so they get through clearly, too.

• Check: How coherent and clear are your verbal and non-verbal signals? Shorten and simplify key messages. Use examples so a sixth grader would understand clearly. Assure your non-verbal gestures, posture and facial expressions reinforce vs. interfere with making a positive impact. Practice presenting in front of your mirror and punch up your non-verbals to support your effectiveness.

• Are disrupted by another voice breaking into the conversation. Instead, guide the flow of group conversations so everyone contributes productively.

• Check: How skillfully do you facilitate to keep uninterrupted focus in group conversations? Learn to orchestrate clear communications so everyone gets “air time” to add ideas and helps to build one train of thought. Show the presence and skills of a symphony conductor…or the linking skills of a Lilly Tomlin operator, as you prefer.

Now What

If you want your audiences to hear you powerfully, sustain strong energy, clarity and consistency. Make sure you transmit what equips others to succeed more easily. Leave your audiences saying, “Got it!” instead of “Say what?”

I’ve helped dozens of senior and emerging leaders with diverse personalities build strong, authentic executive presence and influence. If you or leaders you coach are committed to building your confidence and skills so you influence others positively and you want expert help, call me. Our first call is always free. I love helping leaders be and contribute their best!

Comments?

Do you have additional ideas for strengthening executive presence? I welcome your ideas and feedback at mkimbell@corporateadventure.com or below.  Thanks!

Please share this blog with anyone who can benefit from it.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
President,Corporate Adventure®
Executive Advisor, Strategy Consultant, Leadership Energizer

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 30 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to improve performance by solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2013. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following: “Leadership Coaching Notes” © 2013 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure®, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

I know from personal experience—it is a shocking and potentially life-changing experience when a woman discovers a change in the shape of her breast. When it happened to me three weeks ago, I promptly saw my doctor. With expert concern, she declared, “This is not normal,” and personally made the appointment for an ultrasound the next day.

My Journey of Discovery
The next day, the radiologist declared, “This is a big red flag.” I asked, “Is it ever not cancer?” She didn’t directly answer. Although finding no positive results, she advised a surgical consult and breast MRI. Gratefully, it required 3 weeks to schedule an MRI.

When pushed out of the momentum of events, I stopped to read reputable online sources about the test. I discovered little evidence it added significant value and higher than usual risk of false positive results in my situation. I started questioning, “Am I taking a path that will cost time, worry and painful, unneeded surgery?”

Please be clear, the point of this story is NOT to criticize or discourage anyone from using doctors and traditional medicine. Both have been invaluable in my life and may well have saved my life, but it turned out not to be so this time.

The point of my story is very different: Because my skilled, concerned doctors searched for what they expected to find in ways they knew to search for it…just as many of us do as leaders…they moved in an unproductive direction…just as we can do easily as well.

End of Story?
I broadened my lens and explored options. To my surprise and pleasure, my chiropractor accurately addressed what was obvious to him (as he searched from a different perspective.) He found the easy-to-correct source of my condition, a twisted ribcage from yoga practice. He re-aligned my ribs and, with that, everything is returning to normal.

I would have partnered with the doctors gratefully if the issue had persisted. I share this journey because it turned into a powerful teaching story instead of a health crisis.

The Leadership Lessons
My experience highlighted valuable life and leadership reminders:

• We ALL face urgent and perplexing situations, more now than ever before.
• We ALL search for understanding and solutions in familiar ways and places that limit our effectiveness in ways we don’t recognize.
• We ALL have opportunities to build new, richer understanding and more effective, even breakthrough solutions for our toughest challenges if we will open our lenses and search beyond where we expect to find answers.

The old Sufi teaching story about the wise fool, Mullah Nazrudin and the lost key, offers a similar lesson about finding spiritual enlightenment and goes something like this:

One night, a man found Nazrudin pacing the ground under a streetlamp. The man asked what he was doing and Nazrudin replied, “Searching for my lost key.” In an effort to help, the man asked, “Where did you lose it?” and Nazrudin pointed to a very dark area down the road and said, “Over there.”

Perplexed, the man asked, “Why are you looking here?!” Nazrudin replied, “Because this is where the light is best.”

Business Impact
Stakeholders want leaders to have “right” answers quickly. Leaders easily default to using convenient and familiar places, people and processes to gather information and create those answers. Under pressure, we draw conclusions in a quarter of a second.

But, increasingly novel, complex and dynamic challenges demand breakthrough solutions just as we face a variety of factors we can’t understand clearly or quickly. Cross cultural, environmental, geo-political, regulatory, economic, generational concerns and customer loyalty issues are messy. Our success with messy situations increasingly calls us to explore possibilities that aren’t obvious and learn from unfamiliar sources … just as we find it the most uncomfortable to slow down and use them.

Breakthrough solutions can happen when you seek new and diverse sources of information. Invite others to challenge and enrich your perspectives so you can see with fresh, more effective eyes and hearts. Ask, “How can I learn about and incorporate others’ (particularly minority) views before I make matters worse instead of better?”

Next Steps
As a leader or leader mentoring others with baffling challenges, you may value guidance and support for discovering and effectively using new ways of creating breakthrough solutions. I’d love to explore options with you. Our first conversation is always free. Find me at mkimbell@corporateadventure.com.

Feel free to share these ideas with others and invite them to join our community at www.corporateadventure.com. I welcome your additional examples and comments below.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
President,Corporate Adventure
Executive Advisor, Strategy Consultant, Leadership Energizer

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 30 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to improve performance by solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2012. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following: “Leadership Coaching Notes” © 2012 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

When Guy was promoted from being a successful big fish in a small pond to being a peer with several leaders running a much bigger pond, it almost derailed him. He thought, based on history, that he was energized, hard working and successful. By contrast, peers thought he wasted their time with poor preparation, didn’t add sufficient value and made them work even harder to cover for his shortcomings.

Guy’s former leadership habits had left him with flabby accountability muscles for the heavy lifting of new challenges. Three core practices helped re-establish his success and the respect of peers. Check how well you use them.

What Worked: A Workout for Flabby Accountability Muscles

“Accountability” derives from the accounting practice of tracking “debits” and “assets.” For leaders, activities count as “debits” or costs because they consume time, resources and money. The value you produce from your activities counts in the “asset” column. Bottom line, Guy’s peers believed that he cost more than he added. His first step required that he understand his new world and what his new peers defined as “assets” and “debits.”

Don’t trust your definition of value. Just as beauty is defined in the eye of the beholder, your leadership value is defined in the eyes of your stakeholders. Guy listed 4 peers who depended on him. He suspended his own judgments and asked what specific, measurable “value” they expected and what they defined as too costly about his current style and work product. It was a bitter pill to swallow, but the medicine helped him stop deceiving himself.

What you can do: Ask, “What 1 thing can I do to add more value to you and our team?” Financial results? Time saved? Information, opportunities or resources? Protection or support? Listen with sincere interest. You can guess what stakeholders want or show your commitment to meet their needs. You can negotiate, but ultimately finalize 1 or 2 clear value-producing changes you’ll make.

Follow Though, No Surprises: When Guy initially asked for guidance, he seldom used it so others stopped offering it.  He grew more isolated and ineffective. To stop this vicious cycle, Guy chose to give their voices more weight than his own. He wrote down their expectations, checked for accuracy, explicitly said what he promised to do differently, and asked if they would tell him if he ever failed to deliver.

What You Can Do: Publish your workout records. At the gym, when your workout records are detailed, current and public, they keep you honest and progressing. Share new goals with a few trusted people and ask them to observe and score your performance monthly using a 1-10 scale. The discipline of keeping score will help you follow through and keep you and others energized.

Make Accountability Your Lifestyle: Success with weight management, staying in shape and leadership effectiveness results from changing lifestyles. Developing a reputation for accountability took Guy months of investment. He built a new habit of clarifying others’ top expectations, for meetings, for projects, before presentations, and then routinely followed up to check their satisfaction.  Repeated practice built habit which became a trait.

What you can do: Stay humble. Stay proud. There’s little more gratifying than making a contribution that makes a positive difference for others. You will make mistakes, but humbly recover and quickly start again. Build a string of wins and your momentum will only grow.

What’s Next

Guy’s commitment to increase his “assets” and reduce his “costs” – as judged by his stakeholders — yielded new energy and results. Commitment by commitment over months, his contributions earned new respect and support. Others wanted him to succeed and were more help than he expected. Coaching helped him stay focused, courageous, discover best practices and keep going through ups and downs.

If you or a leader you mentor needs clarity about assets vs. debits, value vs. activity, and wants to build a reputation for delivering distinguished value, call me for a free initial consultation. I can help you and them build a new balance sheet of success.

Comments?

Do you have additional ideas for building accountability muscles? Add your comments below.

Please share this blog with anyone who can benefit from it.

All the Best,

Meredith Kimbell
President,Corporate Adventure

Executive Advisor, Strategy Consultant, Leadership Energizer

KE Photography by Kari Elliott

Picture Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 30 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to improve performance by solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2012. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following: “Leadership Coaching Notes” © 2012 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes – June 2012

Alec was 20 years younger than the average age of his executive team peers, but they all agreed that he “had it all” – strategic vision and operational excellence. He engaged everyone, handled challenges with calm effectiveness, and learned fast. No one realized he was about to walk into significant danger that he’d help create.

What Put Alec at Risk

When I observed Alec speak to 25 top leaders, he was clear, concise, engaging and … collapsed.  His posture reminded me of a young boy submitting before a threatening adult – sunken chest, rounded shoulders, hands in his pockets and eyes looking out from a lowered face. His brilliance and stance were strikingly incongruent.

Alec was soon to take his first turn at representing his company at a meeting of New York business analysts, but his posture would invite them to treat him like hungry lions that just spotted an injured young antelope.

What Worked:

I took one picture of his posture and showed it to him. He cringed. He had never realized he looked so vulnerable. What he internally perceived as comfortable and normal, others presented as insecure.

Before you present important communications, record yourself. Ignore the awkward discomfort you’ll feel and video yourself. No excuses. Your cell phone video is totally adequate for this job. Watching and listening to yourself is the best way to identify and improve ineffective visual and vocal habits. Choose just 1 or 2 changes and master them before tackling more.

Rebalance your stance. I had Alec shift his weight from his heels to the balls of his feet. This subtle adjustment created the impression that he was “ready to play” (as he was.)

Check your balance point. Whether sitting or standing, is your balance more forward or back? You can feel more alert, animated and enthusiastic simply by shifting your posture forward. You can join other influential, powerful people who inspire others in part by leaning slightly forward.

Adjust your spotlights. I asked Alec to imagine he had two spotlights, one in the center of his chest and one in forehead.  I asked where they pointed when he was “comfortable.”  He reflected, “Hmm, at your waist.”  When I asked him to light up my face with both spotlights, his chest expanded and his shoulders relaxed. The new stance conveyed power and confidence that others would subconsciously respect.

Raising your chest spotlight opens room for fuller breathing and gives your voice more clarity and authority. Raising your face invites others to meet you as an equal, not a superior or worse, a predator.   

Show there’s nothing up your sleeve. Alec felt most comfortable with his hands in his pockets or folded. The problem is that in most cultures, hidden hands have a long history of hiding weapons or cards with which you’ll cheat. While putting his hands at his sides felt vulnerable to Alec, it put his audience at ease and reduced the chances they’d go after him or his message aggressively

When you use your hands to gesture, keep them open. Other times, relax them at your sides. Your audience will feel reassured, trusting and less defensive as they sense you have nothing to hide.

What Happened:

I took an “after” picture. Alec was amazed at the differences and the impact the 3 simple changes created. He immediately explained his ineffective and desired new habits to a few trusted colleagues who regularly observed him.  All agreed on a signal system only known to them; they’d pull on an earlobe to remind Alec to correct if he slipped into his insecure stance.

Not surprisingly, after a few weeks of focused practice, Alec’s first meeting with the analysts was predictably challenging, but they were respectful, not contentious. Despite his age and inexperience, he impressed them with the power of his message and presence.

What’s Next

If you or leaders you are developing want to present with greater influence and want to learn some great tricks to improve your impact quickly and effectively, contact me. The first conversation to get acquainted and explore options is free. Assisting you and leaders you develop to express their values, passion and purpose powerfully is one of my great satisfactions.

Feel free to share these ideas with others and invite them to join our community at www.corporateadventure.com.  I welcome your comments below.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
President,Corporate Adventure

Executive Advisor, Strategy Consultant, Leadership Energizer

Leadership Coaching Notes  uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following: “Corporate Adventure® © 2012 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes – March 2012

Randy watched his family and personal time shrink as his leadership responsibilities grew. He knew the costs. He knew basic time management techniques, but they were inadequate as he faced an increasing list of “A” priorities. Despite clear goals and weeks of good intention, nothing changed…until I gave him the “NO!” button I found at a Hallmark® card store.

What Worked? Increase Your Sanity and Success by Saying “No”

Remember You Have a Choice: Randy liked being an expert and liked that his accountabilities were urgent and important. His love of contributing too often led to saying, “Yes” before he realized the implication of each decision.  Ironically, he had an “easy” button on his conference table…all too revealing of this debilitating habit.  By adding a NO! button (which barks a memorable, “NO!” with each press), he gained the reminder he needed to pause long enough to make thoughtful choices.

Ask Others to Prioritize:  While Randy put the NO! button on his table for his personal benefit, he was amazed that, without any explanation or threat, his staff spontaneously changed. The button reminded them that Randy could say, “No” to any idea, request or proposal. With this wacky prop, they began coming more prepared and offered him higher quality ideas. They did their homework before they arrived. Their drive to avoid a “NO!” reduced the time everyone spent with low-value ideas.

Say “NO!” to the Mindsets that Sabotage Your Sanity and Success:  Randy began noticing his pattern of choices and specifically, the choices he just assumed required a “yes.”  He discovered there were specific people (e.g., bosses) and kinds of requests (e.g. urgent deadlines, even when the urgency was caused by others’ poor choices) that triggered his self- punishing habit.  As he discovered unproductive mindsets, he challenged his thinking and found options.

Randy realized that he could make a much bigger contribution AND stay saner by skillfully challenging, declining and negotiating more rigorously. He looked at his No! button and asked himself, “Will this request add real value or is it something another just wants off his own plate? Is it urgent, really? Is there someone more appropriate to handle the request? Would another enjoy or learn by responding? Does the request play to my interests and goals or just my desire to be a nice guy who likes to seem invincible?” Some of his discoveries were uncomfortable, but also invaluable for revealing better options.

So What

By saying “No” more appropriately and skillfully, some of the craziness, pressure and struggle of life lifted. Randy took accountability for creating the life he most wanted instead of settling for excuses, stress and passive longing. He reduced unsatisfying mediocrity that came with dashing from task to task and enjoyed delivering strong results on the “critical few” assignments that mattered most to him and his organization. Over time, he strengthened his identity as a valuable leader in the eyes of his boss, peers and team.

While the seduction of old habits always lurked, the impact of his new clarity, commitment and new choices on his health, family and work became so satisfying that temptations became far less alluring. Healthy choices became his new habit.

What’s Next

Overwhelm, frustration, emptiness, health and family issues are invitations to make new choices in life. If you are a leader committed to raising vitality, sanity, meaning and contribution in your life and the lives of others, I am enthusiastic about exploring how to build the habits that produce these. Our first call is always free. You will find me an insightful, inspiring, kind and skillful partner for your journey.

Comments?

Do you have additional ideas for setting boundaries and sustaining focus on what’s most important so you create the life you want? Add your comments below.

Please share this blog with anyone who can benefit from it.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,Strategy Consultant
Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes  December 2011

With many thanks for your friendship and readership, I re-send the following ezine from 2009 with my very best wishes for joyful holidays and a new year of adventure, vitality and leadership success.

Three themes caught my attention recently:  A leader I work with told me that he loved gravity, the force.  When I looked confused, he explained, “Gravity is a constant invitation to drop things rather than pick them up or carry them around for very long.”  Hmmm…. Then, I was listening to NPR about ways to create a “greener” holiday season by simplifying and letting go of “stuff.”  Finally, after shopping this weekend, I discovered “The 12 Days of Christmas” song recycling in my head.

In the spirit of all three themes, I offer you 12 ways leaders can create more joy (with the help of gravity and some practice.)

1. Drop your need to know.  Increase your genuine sense of “wonder” and invite new relaxation, creativity, enthusiasm and possibilities you will never discover without it.
2. Drop your over-exaggerated sense of importance.  If you think you are the only one who “gets it” or can do “it,” you’ve mis-stepped as a leader.  Stop overburdening yourself, overlooking others who want to help and stressing everyone far more than needed. Use the time you find to develop and leverage others more effectively.
3. Let go of any hope of being perfect. Put it down.  Your people won’t be perfect and neither will you.  Dropping this impossible standard will release you to relax, laugh more, delegate more and use others’ input as developmental opportunities vs. “tests” of adequacy.
4. Put down your seriousness.  Laugh at yourself and your mistakes as an awesome way to keep perspective, loosen up and invite others to see you as a person they can approach with ease.
5. Surrender your sense of being indispensible.  Go home.  Take breaks.  Use all your vacation days, unplugged.  Invest in your vitality to keep yourself at your best and set a great example for others.
6. Drop being the first and most dominant voice.  Listen more.  Shrink your airtime and you will connect with others, show that you care, and learn things you’ll never discover any other way.
7. Let go of pre-judging. Hold history like a swordsman holds a sword…not to tight and not too loose.  If you hold on to history too tightly, your prejudices will only guarantee more history.  If you relax and welcome a fresh start, for yourself and others, you will set the stage for creating an adventure worth living.
8. Release self criticism.  Ok, let go of criticism of others too, but start with yourself.  Substitute self reflection and learning for obsessively dumping on yourself.  Contrary to what you may have learned, you really will be brilliant without keeping your foot on the back on your neck.
9. Drop the chatter.  Whether the chatter is in your head, on TV, radio, or social media, turn it off.  Art comes from a blank paper, music from silence and your most authentic knowing and creative ideas from a place of relaxed “flow.”  Learn to relax deeply.  It takes practice, but start with deep breathing during meetings and your commute.
10. Disengage from so much “how”.  Getting consumed with “how will we ….,” puts you on the hamster wheel of urgency, overwhelm and stress.  Get off by focusing yourself and others first on “why” something is worth doing and “what” you can contribute.  Once you are clear on why and what, the how’s will flow far more easily.
11. Drop contracting.  Anytime you feel tight, let it go.  Move, exhale deeply, talk it out, and feel gravity pull down every cell.  Your health, creativity and effectiveness will thank you for it.
12. Release boredom.  Let go of the disengagement that causes boredom.  Wake up to reconnecting with what is most important to you and contributing what fulfills you so you show up enthusiastically, at your best.

So, when you drop all of these, what’s left?  What do you hold on to?  My wish for you is that you hold on to the moment and stay attentive to the freshness of each breath, situation, and person.  Hold on to hope.  Like a puppy, it is an active thing that endlessly snoops around for something intriguing and delightful.  Hold on to gratitude; it brings joy, fulfillment and rest from the struggle.  Hold on to that which lives in your heart as your best source for what is most important and meaningful.  Hold on to your amazing ability to make a positive difference.  Enjoy your brilliance this season.

Do you have other thoughts about what leaders could give to “gravity?”  Please comment below.

May your season be abundant with joy, freedom and flow.  May gravity and your spirit be well fed by your choices.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,Strategy Consultant
Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

Leadership Coaching Notes December 2011

Recently, I had the sad honor of co-leading the memorial service for an unassuming 45 year old man who I knew for only 2 years, but who I had come to admire deeply. I hadn’t had much visibility to his work life, but was awed, enriched and humbled by it during the week after his death.

Here’s the Story:

Ed was a videographer, one of the unseen, unheralded cameramen and women who shoot TV shows, university programs, and professional sporting events. To the viewers, he was typically invisible. (He did make it on TV once for an instant replay when he was flattened by an NBA player.)

After Ed died, heartfelt comments about his professionalism, values, mentoring, inspiration and friendship poured in on Facebook from his behind-the-scenes colleagues. Touchingly, many changed their Facebook pictures to his. Their expressions of loss and appreciation carried a whole community through a tough time.

At his memorial service, crews he’d worked with more than 20 years earlier attended. They were totally present. Leaders pay me a lot to help strengthen their executive presence, but these men and women needed no coaching. They came with an open hearted, unpretentious, generosity of spirit and expressions of warm support that lit up the entire experience.

Since the memorial, this community has supported Ed’s wife with ongoing FB postings, invitations to take Ed’s place at their events and enthusiastic welcomes when she attends. They have been a powerful, essential support system she hadn’t realized she had.

I discovered that camera crews film each other in unsuspecting moments. They splice their clips together to share at holiday parties when it is time to laugh. The following clip is a sample of a memorial one of them created for Ed.  We shared it to finish his memorial service.

If you want to feel really good, it is worth 2 minutes to watch. You’ll meet Ed, enjoy the care put into creating it, and remember the magic that unsung heroes have to offer.

So What?

If senior leaders and white-collar professionals consistently saw, acknowledged, tapped and embodied the energy, spirit and kindness available from those who work at the periphery of their attention, the work place would be better for all. Perhaps the culture of Zappos is a most familiar example of a company who’s done this well.

What’s Next:

I’ve begun interacting with customer service people and others who work behind the scenes differently. What can I notice about them and their worlds? How can I show my appreciation? What might I offer them that supports their success?  I’m rewarded with more ease, connection and assistance than I’ve invited before.  Give it a try and please share your experiences!

If you are a leader who would like to explore how to stay highly motivated yourself and create more inspired work environments for everyone, contact me. The first call is always free.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,
Strategy Consultant Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following: “Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”

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Leadership Coaching Notes: July 2011

I seldom use sports examples, but recent finishes are too dramatic and instructive to pass by.

At the Masters Golf Tournament, sensation Rory McIlroy completely dominated the first 3 days of play only to falter so badly in the final holes of the last round that he failed to make the top 10. Painful to watch and I’m sure excruciating to experience.

At the Indianapolis 500, after 499 miles and within sight of the checkered flag, the driver of the leading car, rookie J. R. Hildebrand, decided to lap a slower car that was no threat, got caught in the loose marbles along the edge of the track, and crashed into the wall. It cost him a sure win.

By contrast, the Dallas Mavericks in Game 2 of the NBA playoffs were 15 points behind the dominating Miami Heat with 6 minutes to play. They won. It wasn’t so much that the Heat lost as that the Mavericks went into overdrive to stage one of the greatest comebacks we’ve seen. They did it again in Game 4.

In business today, how we finish defines our standings and futures, too. How we finish shapes our reputations and our profits. It defines our clients’ loyalty and willingness to refer us to others. If you doubt it, just remember the contractor you couldn’t get back to your home to finish your remodeling project.

The Temptations:

The temptations to lose focus and discipline and get sloppy are many:

The creative start up phase is over. Endings are often a slog across the finish line. It’s harder to sustain top form.

You are tired after a demanding project and so, if it’s gone well, you might be seduced into coasting to the finish line.

These days, you doubtlessly juggle multiple projects vying for your attention and perhaps new ones waiting to start. If your project takes longer than you thought, you’re way overbooked and finishing gets complicated.

The reality is that your client, your sales pipeline and your development plan don’t care if you’re bored, tired or overbooked, but they still define your success and future.

What Works:

Don’t Finish ’til You Finish: Professionalism requires that you know your goal line exactly, sustain your attention, and give it your 100% best until you cross it. No excuses. No bending the standards to suit your own comfort and convenience. No passing it off to others so you can make it easier for yourself. Finish and your clients will win, as will your self-confidence, resilience, pride and credibility.

Pause and Breathe: At the finish, there’s no time for a vacation or even a weekend, but there are times for periodic pauses long enough to re-center, refocus and choose again. These moments are particularly critical if you are tired, losing your nerve or starting to tell yourself stories of either certain victory or hopeless defeat. These reset moments are familiar to every exhausted and worried parent with a sick child. Use them frequently and finish strong.

Mobilize and Support Others to Contribute: Leaders sometimes get heroic and grandiose about their ability to score at the end, alone. They ignore others as resources or in a mistaken effort to be “kind,” they let others move on to a new project and avoid the hard times. (How will they learn the discipline of finishing strong?)

If you’ve chosen to consistently invest in building your team, they will want to be part of the close. You and they will cheer each other on and play to each other’s strengths. You won’t let each other quit. If finishing strong requires going into overdrive like the Mavericks did, do it. You’ll know you’ve built a great team when they pull together for the final defining minutes. Regardless of the outcome, everyone will be stronger for it.

What’s Next?

Everyone remembers strong finishes…sports fans, staff, peers and clients. If you, your team or those you are developing as leaders are struggling to finish strong, call me. There are mindsets, practices and organization systems that can help to make you and your team proud of your finishes and win more often in the future. I enjoy exploring your situation and how I can help you learn to use them and teach to others to use them successfully. Your first call is always free.

If you have other ideas about finishing strong, share them with me at mkimbell@corporateadventure and I’ll pass them along.

All the best,

Meredith Kimbell
Executive Advisor,
Strategy Consultant Corporate Adventure

Leadership Coaching Notes uses real or composite client examples drawn from 25 years of coaching and consulting with leaders committed to solving their toughest personal, interpersonal and organizational issues.
Unless otherwise attributed, all material is copyrighted by Meredith Kimbell © 2011. All rights reserved. You may reprint any or all of this material if you include the following:
“Leadership Coaching Notes © 2011 Meredith Kimbell, Corporate Adventure, Reston, VA. Used with permission.”